How to Date
Stop Dating in Isolation
Day 4
Stay on track with Passion Equip
Create a profile or sign in to track your progress and access your bookmarked content.
On day four of How to Date, Ben Stuart highlights the need for graciousness and community in dating relationships.
A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth.
Proverbs 11:16
The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar.
Proverbs 19:22 (KJV)
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 11:14 (ESV)
for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.
Proverbs 24:6 (ESV)
Summary
Date graciously.
Graciousness shouldn’t just be extended to the people we’re dating but to everyone: believer or unbeliever. Being kind to everyone isn’t just a nice sentiment meant to decorate the walls of your home; it’s a fruit of the spirit. How we treat others matters, and our allegiance to God should catalyze our kindness. Evaluating if you have been kind in previous relationships may be helpful. Were the people you dated better before you, or did we cause them immense strife and confusion? Was their relationship with Christ better after knowing us? When things ended, did you provide clarity? Our aim is for us to leave people better than we found them. Graciousness, kindness, and courtesy are attractive.
Date in community.
There is a temptation when we start dating to pair off early and evaluate in isolation, trusting our own judgment alone rather than inviting people we trust into the process. The danger of our own isolated judgment is that it is often clouded by intense infatuation, which throws off our ability to make sound decisions. You need wise people around you who are walking closely with you, that you trust, to make judgments about your relationships, and the only way that happens is through proximity to community.
—
As we date graciously and in community, we can trust that God is in control, and He is just as invested, if not more, in your love life because cares for you. You aren’t meant to take this journey alone.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
What's next?
The most important takeaway we can have is to take action to be Christ-like in our dating life going forward. Write down these key points in a journal, and refer back to them when you date someone in the future.
Which of these key points have you struggled with most in the past: dating graciously or dating in community?
What are some tangible steps you can take to improve your deficits in dating going forward?
Scripture References
