How to Date

Things have gotten more complicated since Adam and Eve and the book of Genesis. The rules of courtship have dissolved and have been replaced by ambiguity and uncertainty. Social media and texting have given people access to hundreds of friends but have increased fluidity, drama, and anxiety; the process of dating more often being described as stressful and depressing. 

The desire to pair off is good, and Ben Stuart reminds us that this longing has existed since the beginning of creation. But more than we desire to be in a relationship, we should desire the right relationship. Deciding who to spend the rest of your life with is arguably one of the biggest decisions in your life, and we must not treat it as a flippant decision. 

As we delve deeper into the dating and evaluation process, we hone in on what should be our ultimate desire: God’s plans and purposes for our lives. In some cases, this may include finding someone who is also chasing after the purposes and plans God has for them. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

“Dating is not a status to sit in; it is a process we move through.”

Ben Stuart reminds us that we aren’t looking for a soulmate; we’re evaluating if we’re meant to link arms with someone else on the journey to glorify God and run toward Him together. We want to look for someone who we can face the hard times with. The seas of life may be tumultuous, but there are principles we can navigate by if we choose a person who follows these same principles.

Many of us get into relationships trying to impress the other person, but Ben reminds us that our confidence in God takes the desperation out of dating. We can stand firm, knowing that our purpose is outside our relationship status.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

We can take the pressure off ourselves and work to trust God with our entire lives, even our dating lives. God doesn’t need us to show up to every event with the intention of meeting someone, and He isn’t worried about whether or not we will miss our future spouse if we take the next train. He is Alpha and Omega, and He already knows what will come. It isn’t on us, and fear has no place here.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:18 ESV