Have you ever struggled with finding purpose in your singleness? In a world dominated by relationship status, it’s only natural that we are constantly focused on the next thing and, therefore, lose focus on what is right in front of us. But what if your singleness isn’t a problem to solve or a hurdle to clear? What if this time in your life could be purposeful and profound?
In this four-day track, we will gain insight from Ben Stuart on how to not only navigate this season well but thrive in it as we focus on:
- Seeing singleness as a gift.
- Changing the headline of our stories from singleness to purposeful.
- Learning to give undistracted devotion to God.
- Learning to trust God.
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02.11.2024
About this track
Have you ever struggled with finding purpose in your singleness? In a world dominated by relationship status, it’s only natural that we are constantly focused on the next thing and, therefore, lose focus on what is right in front of us. But what if your singleness isn’t a problem to solve or a hurdle to clear? What if this time in your life could be purposeful and profound?
In this four-day track, we will gain insight from Ben Stuart on how to not only navigate this season well but thrive in it as we focus on:
- Seeing singleness as a gift.
- Changing the headline of our stories from singleness to purposeful.
- Learning to give undistracted devotion to God.
- Learning to trust God.
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How to Thrive in Your Singleness
4-day track with Ben Stuart
Day 02
Locked
The Reason You Are Single
Day 03
Locked
Distracted Devotion
Day 04
Locked
Do You Trust God?
Today is day one of “How to Thrive in Your Singleness,” and we are focusing on the gift of singleness. Maybe that title alone is causing you to cringe or rethink clicking into this track. In a world constantly telling us that the next thing is the best thing, even a healthy desire for companionship or a family can take us into a mindset where any mention of intentional singleness can feel like an attack. It’s completely understandable.
So before we start, we’re going to need to make a choice to come into this track with an open mind, to say to God, “My hands are open, and my life is yours.” We know it may not be easy, but our prayer is that through these days together, our perspective on singleness could shift from seeing it as a time of waiting or even punishment to a time that your loving Heavenly Father has prepared for your good, and the furthering of the Kingdom of God.
Observe how Paul, an apostle of Christ known to have written 13 books of the New Testament, called singleness a gift from God.
I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
1 Corinthians 7:7
Video
Summary
I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
1 Corinthians 7:7
Take a moment to meditate on this verse in the context of what we just heard from Ben Stuart. How does this challenge your current thoughts on singleness?
“What we want is not always what’s best for us, and what’s best for us we don’t always desire or appreciate.”
Singleness may or may not be a gift you want. Maybe you’ve even had this thought before, “Why would God gift me with singleness if I desire to be married?” Remember that God is the fountain of love (1 John 4:19), and He works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). When God gives us something, He is loving, wise, and good in doing so. So, when he gifts us singleness, even if we may not want it, it is out of His loving and wise nature.
Why? How? Well, the answers to those questions are as varied as each of us are but think back to the story Ben shared of the two gifts. What he initially thought of as the best gift brought him pain because he wasn’t ready to handle it well. Many of us have been in relationships that did the same. And the gift that Ben initially saw as boring or disappointing ended up being one of the greatest blessings in his life. Could it be possible that your singleness isn’t a case of withholding but is actually the loving wisdom of an almighty God who knows how it will bless you in time?
Said another way, can you trust that God has gifted you with singleness for your good and His glory?
What's Next?
Read James 1:17. Write down a few of the good gifts the Father has given you.
On day one, we learned of the gift of singleness. It may be hard to picture singleness signed, sealed, and delivered by God, and that’s ok. The tension between having earnest desires and trusting God with them is beautiful and sanctifying. It is the laying down of your wants and confessing to God, “not my will, but yours be done.” Can you imagine how your Heavenly Father delights in that prayer?
Of course, this can be difficult to say about something as sensitive to our hearts as our relationship status. Today, Ben Stuart addresses the most likely second question percolating in your mind following day one, “Why would a loving God give some of us the gift of singleness when we want to be married?”
As Ben tackles this question, he points us back to the main story, pressing into the importance of sharing our most crucial headline with those around us.
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:35
Video
Summary
Your relationship status is not the headline of your story. Truthfully. Yes, it may be the first question you are asked at every family function; it may even be the first thing you think about most mornings, but in the economy of God, you are not walking around with a nametag that reads, “Hi, my name is SINGLE.”
We weren’t meant to hyper-fixate on our love lives. Without denying their importance, Ben Stuart reminded us that there is something, or someone, greater that we are meant to set our eyes on.
What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
1 Corinthians 7:29
Do you see it? This is the main storyline: devoting our lives to telling people about our heavenly Father and the ultimate sacrifice He made on our behalf with urgency because the world is passing away.
For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:
Colossians 1:16
Here’s something that we all know to be true: we will face much pain if we start looking to other people for things only God can provide. How many times have you felt this? Maybe it was a family member or a friend. Whenever we search for our eternal purpose in temporary things, their ability to hold up to that expectation will eventually fail. This is true regardless of your relationship status.
No boyfriend or girlfriend, fiance, or husband or wife can replace the satisfaction of a relationship with God Almighty, and no one’s calling to being a spouse supersedes their calling to be a son or daughter of God and on mission for God.
What's Next?
Take a few minutes to evaluate the positions you hold in life. Be completely honest with yourself; these questions are meant for you to take a realistic account of where you are today. Then, write down your top five.
There is a temptation for those of us who are single to spend our time pining after what we don’t have. If we aren’t careful, we may look up one day and realize we have wasted this precious time intended for devotion to the one worthy of our affection.
On day three, Ben Stuart encourages us to use every moment we have to give God our unrivaled attention.
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Video
Summary
Ben Stuart points out that we, as humans, tend to amplify the benefits and downplay the limitations in a stage we aren’t in and amplify the limitations and downplay the benefits in the stage we are in.
“Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.” – Jim Elliot.
Here is the truth, and it may be one you’ve been hoping we wouldn’t address: singleness does not have a known end date that we can circle on the calendar as if it’s the last day of winter. Life just doesn’t work that way. That can be a painful reality. But can you imagine how much more painful it would be if you reached the end of your days and realized that you let that disappointment stagnate your time on Earth? If you became like the man in the library, surrounded by all the books he ever wanted to read, wasted his time worrying about what color his glasses were? Don’t use your time here to become a servant of your longings, filling your time with distractions or ambitions.
“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” – Jim Elliot
As Ben Stuart urged you, use this season for a greater purpose—to glorify God and grow closer to Him, entirely devoting ourselves to Him.
What's Next?
Make space in your calendar to spend at least one hour giving Jesus your undivided attention today (no phone). This could be journaling, listening and singing along to worship music, or just going for a walk and talking to God and being intentional to speak and then to listen. During this time, write down five things you’re grateful for in this season of your life.
On day four of this track, Ben Stuart reminds us that God is not callous about people longing to marry. In fact, Ben tells us that God loves this desire.
In the same breath, he wants us to understand that singleness is a gift, and regardless of your relationship status now or in the future, God is worthy of your trust.
Video
Summary
Some people will forsake marriage and instead leverage their entire lives for the kingdom. They will be like Paul, embracing the freedom of singleness and using it for God’s glory. Then, there are others who have the desire and longing to be married and may one day get married.
Wherever you are, you can trust that God is good and worthy of your trust. If He puts you in a position, He will give you the power to sustain you. This is the beauty of the Church, the collection of individual men and women with unique abilities and attitudes, all leveraging them for one cause. God’s church is built when single and married people work hand-in-hand for His purposes, and we all run together to make a difference. You are uniquely and wonderfully made by God. He isn’t asking you to be anyone else. Your story is as distinct as you are; don’t spend your life comparing it to someone else’s.
This time in your life is not a waste. It is not a holding room where you are simply passing the time. If that were the case, what would that mean about the life of the Apostle Paul? What about the life of Jesus? The world may be trying to tell you that one station of life is better than the other, that singleness is the best season of life, or that married life is the secret to all happiness, but look at what the Word of God has to say, these things are both gifts and gifts from God are not beholden to our human hierarchy of worth.
You don’t have to chase satisfaction.
Satisfaction came for you. His name is Jesus.
He is good and worthy of your trust.
What's Next?
Read Proverbs 3:5-6. Verse 5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” Can you confidently say that you trust Him with all of your heart? If not, write down a few of the things you’re struggling with surrendering.
Next Day
Track Topics
Scripture References
- 1 Corinthians 7:7
- 1 John 4:19
- Romans 8:28
- James 1:17
- 1 Corinthians 7:35
- 1 Corinthians 7:29
- Colossians 1:16
- 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
- Proverbs 3:5-6
Day 02
Locked
Clarity is A Kindness
Day 03
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The Confusion Around Coupling
Day 04
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Stop Dating in Isolation
Day 05
Locked
Are You Meant to Be Together?
Day 02
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Does the Bible Really Say a Wife Should Submit?
Day 03
Locked
God’s Instruction for the Husband
Day 04
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A Man Worth Following
Day 02
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What Is This Built On?
Day 03
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What Are You Running After?
Day 04
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Godly Character and Good Chemistry