Have you ever struggled with finding purpose in your singleness? In a world dominated by relationship status, it’s only natural that we are constantly focused on the next thing and, therefore, lose focus on what is right in front of us. But what if your singleness isn’t a problem to solve or a hurdle to clear? What if this time in your life could be purposeful and profound?

In this four-day track, we will gain insight from Ben Stuart on how to not only navigate this season well but thrive in it as we focus on:

1. Seeing singleness as a gift.
2. Changing the headline of our stories from singleness to purposeful.
3. Learning to give undistracted devotion to God.
4. Learning to trust God.

I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
1 Corinthians 7:7

Take a moment to meditate on this verse in the context of what we just heard from Ben Stuart. How does this challenge your current thoughts on singleness?

“What we want is not always what’s best for us, and what’s best for us we don’t always desire or appreciate.”

Singleness may or may not be a gift you want. Maybe you’ve even had this thought before, “Why would God gift me with singleness if I desire to be married?” Remember that God is the fountain of love (1 John 4:19), and He works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). When God gives us something, He is loving, wise, and good in doing so. So, when he gifts us singleness, even if we may not want it, it is out of His loving and wise nature.

Why? How? Well, the answers to those questions are as varied as each of us are but think back to the story Ben shared of the two gifts. What he initially thought of as the best gift brought him pain because he wasn’t ready to handle it well. Many of us have been in relationships that did the same. And the gift that Ben initially saw as boring or disappointing ended up being one of the greatest blessings in his life. Could it be possible that your singleness isn’t a case of withholding but is actually the loving wisdom of an almighty God who knows how it will bless you in time? 

Said another way, can you trust that God has gifted you with singleness for your good and His glory?

Your relationship status is not the headline of your story. Truthfully. Yes, it may be the first question you are asked at every family function; it may even be the first thing you think about most mornings, but in the economy of God, you are not walking around with a nametag that reads, “Hi, my name is SINGLE.”

We weren’t meant to hyper-fixate on our love lives. Without denying their importance, Ben Stuart reminded us that there is something, or someone, greater that we are meant to set our eyes on.

What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
1 Corinthians 7:29

Do you see it? This is the main storyline: devoting our lives to telling people about our heavenly Father and the ultimate sacrifice He made on our behalf with urgency because the world is passing away.

For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him:
Colossians 1:16

Here’s something that we all know to be true: we will face much pain if we start looking to other people for things only God can provide. How many times have you felt this? Maybe it was a family member or a friend. Whenever we search for our eternal purpose in temporary things, their ability to hold up to that expectation will eventually fail. This is true regardless of your relationship status.

No boyfriend or girlfriend, fiance, or husband or wife can replace the satisfaction of a relationship with God Almighty, and no one’s calling to being a spouse supersedes their calling to be a son or daughter of God and on mission for God.

Ben Stuart points out that we, as humans, tend to amplify the benefits and downplay the limitations in a stage we aren’t in and amplify the limitations and downplay the benefits in the stage we are in.

“Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.” – Jim Elliot.

Here is the truth, and it may be one you’ve been hoping we wouldn’t address: singleness does not have a known end date that we can circle on the calendar as if it’s the last day of winter. Life just doesn’t work that way. That can be a painful reality. But can you imagine how much more painful it would be if you reached the end of your days and realized that you let that disappointment stagnate your time on Earth? If you became like the man in the library, surrounded by all the books he ever wanted to read, wasted his time worrying about what color his glasses were? Don’t use your time here to become a servant of your longings, filling your time with distractions or ambitions. 

“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” – Jim Elliot

As Ben Stuart urged you, use this season for a greater purpose—to glorify God and grow closer to Him, entirely devoting ourselves to Him.

Some people will forsake marriage and instead leverage their entire lives for the kingdom. They will be like Paul, embracing the freedom of singleness and using it for God’s glory. Then, there are others who have the desire and longing to be married and may one day get married.

Wherever you are, you can trust that God is good and worthy of your trust. If He puts you in a position, He will give you the power to sustain you. This is the beauty of the Church, the collection of individual men and women with unique abilities and attitudes, all leveraging them for one cause. God’s church is built when single and married people work hand-in-hand for His purposes, and we all run together to make a difference. You are uniquely and wonderfully made by God. He isn’t asking you to be anyone else. Your story is as distinct as you are; don’t spend your life comparing it to someone else’s. 

This time in your life is not a waste. It is not a holding room where you are simply passing the time. If that were the case, what would that mean about the life of the Apostle Paul? What about the life of Jesus? The world may be trying to tell you that one station of life is better than the other, that singleness is the best season of life, or that married life is the secret to all happiness, but look at what the Word of God has to say, these things are both gifts and gifts from God are not beholden to our human hierarchy of worth.

You don’t have to chase satisfaction.

Satisfaction came for you. His name is Jesus. 

He is good and worthy of your trust.