The culture around us and our upbringing can offset how we view marriage entirely.

Many of us grew up with divorced parents or were at least witnesses to failed relationships and family brokenness. After all, romance is powerful and can either be life-giving or disastrous. Our cynicism, rightfully so, may lead many of us to feel as if this covenant isn’t really treated as a covenant at all.

In this track, Ben Stuart works to restore this perception, focusing on God’s design for marriage instead of on what culture has to say about it. 

The marriages around you don’t have to be your current or potential future reality. There is hope to be found in a union between two people who love the Lord and keep His commandments, loving each other as Christ loved the Church and displaying God’s glory.

Join us on this 4-day journey, unpacking the true mission of marriage and resetting our beliefs in its purpose. We must first see God’s original design if we want beautiful marriages.

Family brokenness isn’t anything new to humanity. We see it in the very first family ever created—a husband and wife choosing sin and a brother murdering a brother out of a fit of jealousy and rage. This is our origin story, but it doesn’t have to be the conclusion of our individual stories.

Instead of rejecting the institution of marriage, we can recognize the counterfeit of what society has made a union out to be and choose to pursue marriage the way it was initially intended.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18

This institution was founded by God Himself, yet after the fall, it was twisted to serve another master: ourselves.

When we revisit the story of Lamech in Genesis 4, we see what happens when we stray from God and serve our ego instead. Not only do we see vengefulness and wickedness in Lamech, we see how he treats his wives as if they were disposable. This is a very real reflection of what marriage can look like without God at the center. 

God wants more for us. In our woundedness, He sent a hero to forgive, rescue, and redeem us. We can now be controlled by the Spirit of God and walk with Him.

As we walk with Him, we invite Him into every aspect of our lives, including our love lives. Marriage, designed by God, was intended to display something about God, and when we use it in this context, we, and generations to follow, will flourish.

Marriage can be filled with poetry, beauty, vulnerability, and safety when God is at the center. Women are valued, men are elevated to act like sons of God, and children win.

Not only can Jesus mend generational family brokenness through marriage, but the beauty of Christian marriage can lure people to know Jesus.

Submission is not equated to subjugation. God is good. He isn’t trying to hurt you; He’s trying to free you. Men and women are equal in value. According to Romans 8:17, “…we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ,” and we both should be treated as such.

When you bind yourself romantically to someone, they have extraordinary power in your life. They can impact your sense of self, value, worth, financial decisions, and future. Husbands are meant to take that power to strengthen their wives and children out of fear and reverence for God, treating their wives right because they understand they are God’s daughters, ultimately leading to the children being treated right, too.

The problem is some husbands have used their power to fulfill selfish desires, ultimately leading to an elevated sense of self and the destruction of their wives and children. Women must ensure that the men they are entering into a covenant with are pursuing the Lord so that they are in lockstep with them, each pursuing holiness and, in turn, treating each other with loving kindness.

As women choose godly men to enter into marriage with, they must receive, affirm, and celebrate them when they initiate and make the vulnerable decision to lead their families well. 

Good leadership leads to liberation, and liberation is a cause for celebration.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:25

Paul uses the word “love,” which is the word “agape,” most often described in the Bible as “covenantal love.”

What does that kind of love look like?

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:25

that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:26-30

A man who would sacrifice himself for his wife to be fully who they’re meant to be under God and who initiates and cultivates with the resources he has is a man women can trust. 

Frequently, after people get married, the initiation seems to wither away. After a while, the two become more like roommates than partners. Eventually, they find themselves sitting in front of their friends and family, telling them they’re contemplating separation because they “fell out of love.”

The truth is, they might not have fallen out of love. They may have fallen out of trying. Love is like a fire; fire fades when you don’t stoke the flames. Husbands are called to initiate as the Father initiated.

1. Initiate romance. There is romance to be had inside of a marriage. Husbands can plan a date night, pick a restaurant without distractions, listen, and be interested in what their wives have to say.
2. Initiate communication. Never go to sleep angry. Communication may lead to sleepless nights, but it will also lead to peaceful days.
3. Initiate spiritual leadership. It’s the husband’s responsibility to lead their wife and children spiritually.

The enemy attempts to pull people back into our own world of selfishness. It’s a discipline to be the kind of man or woman God wants us to be, and it takes deliberate decisions to keep on the path that God is calling us to. But when the world sees a man treat his wife the way Christ does, they marvel.

Jesus gave us these standards to aim for because He could reach these standards Himself. These responsibilities aren’t impossible to reach, and He isn’t waiting on the side, laughing every time you reach up and your hand barely brushes the tall bar above you. He reached these standards first, putting them in place for us to ultimately experience freedom and flourishing. 

These standards are attainable, and though we may not be flawless in our execution, we must aim for the bar.

Jesus is worthy of our best efforts to use marriage to display Him.

In our mourning and our messiness, Jesus came running. He initiated. He did not wait. While we were sinners, Christ died for us. He didn’t need us to clean ourselves up first—He saw us at our worst and came with kindness, sacrificing everything He had for us. Not only did He come to rescue us, but to sanctify us—having cleansed us so He might present the Church to himself in splendor. Without spots or wrinkles. Holy and blameless. He initiated and sacrificed His life to protect us. 

It’s a joy to follow a hero like that.

Before we get a relationship with anyone else right, we must get a relationship with God right. Our God isn’t trying to impress or hold you back; he’s setting you free.

We follow the man who risks his life to secure us and lead us on whatever mission we’ve been called to accomplish because we flourish under His leadership. Cities and countries will change when we see the family of God live His way, in the same way, it shifted everything for Ancient Rome. They saw our marriages and, in turn, saw Christ. 

The world gets to see the beauty of Christ through Christian marriage, and through people pursuing singleness, God receives whole-hearted devotion.