Article

How to Talk to Your Kids About Their Identity in Christ

Emily Vogeltanz
Emily Vogeltanz
4 Mins

As parents, we have the unique privilege and great responsibility of helping shape the hearts of our children. Our ultimate role is not to ensure they are “good people” or enroll them in the greatest college or even make sure they get a good job one day. Our God-ordained assignment is to point them to Jesus. Therefore, our role as parents goes far beyond behavior modification. We are stewards of their hearts, shepherds ordained to tend to their souls. While the reality of that calling on our life can feel overwhelming at times, God has given us everything we need to walk with our children as we humbly seek him. (2 Peter 1:3) 

Every conversation, carpool minute, bath time, nightly tuck-in, and every important or seemingly insignificant moment in between is actually an opportunity to speak truth and life over our children to help shape their theology of God and a right view of themselves. Each moment is a tiny building block helping lay a great foundation for life. 

Among the most important foundations we are laying in our children is a Biblical view of their identity in Christ. Accomplishing this is not a one-time conversation or a task best outsourced to Sunday school. This path is paved by dozens of conversations and deposits of Truth teaching our children what God says is true about them. The world is clever about lying to our kids with sound-good mantras like, “You be you” and “Live your own truth.” But these empty phrases will only lead our kids to destruction and disappointment. Like us, our children need an anchor that will hold in both the highs and the hardships of life. Our kids need a deep understanding of who they are in Christ Jesus. 

Here are some simple reminders about our unique and holy identity in Christ that we can weave into conversations with our kids this week:  

“Remember kids, we are people of the Word, not the World”

It’s important to help our kids rightly discern the difference between what the World is screaming versus what the Word is speaking. The World constantly bombards us with confusing messages that go against God’s heart and design. So, it’s essential to equip our kids with a solid understanding of who they are in God’s eyes, grounded in Scripture. The World is unsteady, but the Word of God is unchanging therefore we anchor our lives in what God says is true. This alone will best guide and define your child’s understanding of their identity. Our bible is the mirror where we learn who we truly are created to be and how to live. 

Celebrate and uphold the Word of God in your family as the primary source of Truth. 

(John 17:15, Psalm 119:89) 

“Remember kids, you are SO loved” 

Kids need to know they are loved by their parents, but ultimately they need to know they are loved by their Father in Heaven. Our human love is messy, but God’s love is perfect and is perfectly displayed in the gospel. It is in the Gospel we learn our value. 

We were so loved that God gave us Jesus to rescue us from death. The gospel we celebrate is not that our sin made us bad people and Jesus makes us better. No, we believe our situation was far worse than that. Our sin left us spiritually dead and separated from the perfect Father. The good news is this: Jesus didn’t just come to make us better versions of ourselves. Jesus came to bring us from death to life. So no matter what the world throws at us, no matter what mistake we make or lie the enemy tries to convince us to believe, we are eternally loved, treasured, and safe in Christ Jesus. That good news defines both who and whose we are forever. 

Celebrate the gift of Jesus in your child’s life and remind them they are covered always and forever by His perfect love. 

(Romans 5:8, John 1:12, John 3:16) 

“Remember kids, you belong to Jesus and reflect His light to the World.” 

Because Christ gave His life for ours, we are now part of the family of God. So, Jesus is everything to us. He is number one in our hearts and central to all we do. Our identity? We are Jesus people and we are appointed to carry His light to the World. This reality shapes how we live. As Jesus people, we rise above feelings, choose joy, and live from a source greater than ourselves. This is the radiance that sets us apart and draws others towards Christ in us. We are Light carriers. 

Celebrate the ways your child reflects the light of Christ to the world. 

(Matthew 5:14-16, Romans 14:8, John 1:9) 

“Remember kids, God has uniquely designed and created you for a purpose.” 

When our kids encounter doubts about their worth or abilities, we must help them recall that God Himself fearfully and wonderfully made them. And God does not make mistakes. Male and female, God perfectly knit us together in our mother’s womb. We are not accidental or incidental. We are uniquely crafted by the hand of God and He has laid out plans and purposes for our lives. There are good works and specific tasks He has created us to fulfill. This reality and sense of purpose greater than ourselves is what inspires us to live boldly and embrace the unique qualities and gifts in our lives for the Glory of God. We can rest knowing that God is in control. 

As the Westminster Catechism so eloquently reminds us, “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.”¹ This is the ultimate goal as we live out His plans and purposes in our lives. 

Celebrate, call out, and speak blessing over your children’s talents, spiritual gifting, and being as they learn to live for the glory of God. 

(Ephesians 2:10, Psalm 139, Romans 11:36, Psalm 86:9, Isaiah 60:21, 1 Corinthians 10:31) 

“Remember kids, God has spoken promises over your life.” 

Our kids need to understand that  God didn’t just save them to leave them. They aren’t living this journey with Jesus alone. As a good Father, He has equipped them with everything they need and has spoken promise over their lives. 

As God’s children, we are now royalty, sons and daughters, of the King above all kings. This is the reality of who we are. (Hello, princess/prince!) You are not your mistakes or failures or even your successes, but by God’s grace and good design, we are His children. As part of the family of God, there are promises we have to look forward to and anchor our lives. There is an inheritance in heaven for us, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the promise of His presence. God also promises to strengthen us, give us rest, answer our prayers, and more. Each of these promises is evidence of our identity in Christ. It doesn’t mean life will always be easy (because it won’t) but we can cling to the fact that we will be okay no matter what because God is with us. Even in the face of difficulty, disease, disappointment, or death, God is with us through it all. Life is sometimes hard, but God is always good. 

Celebrate and remind your child of the good gifts and promises of God in their life. 

(Ephesians 3:14-16, 2 Corinthians 1: 20, Romans 8, 1 Peter 1:4-7 ) 

Continue to be bold, Mom + Dad. Keep speaking Scripture over your kids. Remember, more is caught than taught! Even when they roll their eyes or roll on the floor while you’re speaking Truth over them, keep sowing seeds of Truth. Your kids are watching, listening, and growing in the ways you are leading them. 


¹The Westminster Confession of Faith Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1996

 

Scripture References

3His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
15
My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.
89Your word,
Lord
, is eternal;

it stands firm in the heavens.

8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
12Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—
16For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
14
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
15
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16
In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
8If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
9The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world.
10For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1You have searched me,

Lord
,

and you know me.

2You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

4Before a word is on my tongue

you,

Lord
, know it completely.

5You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me.

6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

7Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

8If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

12even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

13For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

15My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

17How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

How vast is the sum of them!

18Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand—

when I awake, I am still with you.

19If only you, God, would slay the wicked!

Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!

20They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.

21Do I not hate those who hate you,

Lord
,

and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?

22I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.

23Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

36For from him and through him and for him are all things.

To him be the glory forever! Amen.

9All the nations you have made

will come and worship before you, Lord;

they will bring glory to your name.

21Then all your people will be righteous

and they will possess the land forever.

They are the shoot I have planted,

the work of my hands,

for the display of my splendor.

31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
14For this reason I kneel before the Father,
15from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.
16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you,
5who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.
6In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Emily Vogeltanz
Emily Vogeltanz
Emily Vogeltanz is a wife, writer, mom of four, and passionate about the Word of God. Emily served on staff at Passion City Church for nearly two decades in various roles and continues to serve the church and local community. She is the founder of GoShiloh.com, curating Holy Land experiences, works alongside the illumiNations Bible translation movement, as well as teaches a local Bible study for women in Atlanta called KINDRED. Emily has a heart for Jesus and longs to see the gospel reach everyone everywhere. She and her husband, Bryson, live in Atlanta, GA.