Article

How to Talk to Your Kids About the Fruit of the Spirit

Emily Gross

November 9, 2023

One of the best gifts we can give our children is to anchor them in the truth that Scripture is reliable and relevant to their lives. One of these anchoring truths is learning about the fruit of the Spirit. Depending on the age of your child, you may begin by explaining that the fruit of the Spirit is a different kind of fruit, not like apples or bananas. The fruit of the Spirit are gifts that God gives us as we become more like Him, helping us live lives that please God, lives that show His love and who He is to others. Just like fruit grows from being connected to a vine, we grow in the fruit of the Spirit when we are connected to the Holy Spirit through putting our faith in Jesus. As our faith grows, our fruit will grow.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23

When we talk with our children about showing love, we talk about treating others the way we want to be treated. In Mark 12:31, Jesus says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We want our children to learn that love is caring for the good of others and doing what is best for others. We were made to love God and love others.

Joy is gladness in our hearts that doesn’t change on sad or happy days. When we trust in Jesus, joy roots down deep in our hearts. It stays in our hearts even when we lose a game or have a hard day in school. If our joy is ever feeling small, we can ask Jesus to help us remember our reasons for having joy. When we think about everything we can thank Jesus for, joy grows in our hearts.

Peace is when our hearts are calm and not worrying. In John 14:27, Jesus says, “I give my peace to you… Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” We want our children to learn that when we feel worries rise up in our hearts, we can give them to Jesus, and in return, He will give us peace. Our hope is for our children to know that Jesus is more powerful than anything and that nothing is too hard for Him. He loves us more than we can imagine, and He will always take the best care of us. In Jesus, we can have peace in our hearts, despite our circumstances.

We describe patience as waiting with a joyful heart. Patience remembers that even when our plans are not how or when we want, we can understand and know that God loves us and He is in charge. The story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50 from the Jesus Storybook Bible is helpful to read as a family as you discuss patience and trust in God’s plans and timing. When children learn patience in waiting for a snack or not being upset when a younger sibling wrecks a Lego creation, they are building muscles they will use to trust God’s story and His timing throughout their lives.

We show kindness when we show love and compassion for others, caring about their needs more than our own, and looking for ways to be thoughtful friends. We can encourage our children that it is not always easy to be kind, but we can ask Jesus to help us to grow in kindness. Jesus always hears us when we pray, and He will always be our helper.

We show goodness when we do what is right, even when no one is watching. The story of the Good Samaritan found in Luke 10 shows us that goodness sometimes means stopping our own plans to be a helper to someone else. Our goodness does not come from ourselves but from Jesus. Jesus is the only One who is always good, all the time.

Faithfulness is being dependable and trustworthy toward God and others. We see peacefulness and strength in faithful people. They trust God and do the right thing, even when it’s hard. Faithful friends feel like safe friends who we can trust and who always want the best for us. We want to have faithful friends and be faithful friends.

Gentleness is being strong enough to show tender kindness and care, even when it’s hard. Just as we talk about using our gentle hands or gentle voices around babies or puppies, we want to use tender kindness in the way we treat the hearts of others. We want our children to be strong and humble enough to respond gently when a friend hurts their feelings. When we’re gentle, other people feel safe and cared for around us.

Self-control chooses to act, speak, and respond as God tells us to, even when it’s hard. Children often long for something to be in charge of. We can teach self-control as a way for them to be in charge of their feelings, with the help of Jesus.

When notice our children exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit, call it out and celebrate those moments. When we’re working on an area in particular with one of our children, choose a fruit to focus on, celebrating as your children grow and showing grace for the journey.

As we shepherd our children through growing in the fruit of the Spirit, Jesus is kind to be our own perfect Heavenly Father, lovingly showing us where we need to grow as well, equipping us with everything we need to raise the children He has entrusted to us.

Scripture References

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

There is no commandment greater than these.”

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Jesus Sends Out the Seventy-Two

1After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2He told them,

“The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.

Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves.

Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.

“When you enter a house, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’

If someone who promotes peace is there, your peace will rest on them; if not, it will return to you.

Stay there, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house.

“When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is offered to you.

Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’

But when you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say,

‘Even the dust of your town we wipe from our feet as a warning to you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God has come near.’

I tell you, it will be more bearable on that day for Sodom than for that town.

“Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes.

But it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you.

And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted to the heavens? No, you will go down to Hades.

“Whoever listens to you listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me rejects him who sent me.”

17The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.”

18He replied,

“I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

21At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said,

“I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

“All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

23Then he turned to his disciples and said privately,

“Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.

For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

25On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

“What is written in the Law?”

he replied.

“How do you read it?”

27He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,”

Jesus replied.

“Do this and you will live.”

29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30In reply Jesus said:

“A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.

A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.

So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.

But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.

He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.

The next day he took out two denarii

and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him,

“Go and do likewise.”

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,”

the Lord answered,

“you are worried and upset about many things,

but few things are needed—or indeed only one.

Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Emily Gross

Emily Gross works on staff at Passion City Church on our Family Ministries team, where she takes great joy in investing in the children and parents of our House. She met her husband Jake at Auburn University, and they live in Marietta, GA, with their three teenage daughters and yellow lab Sam. In this loud and full season of life, most afternoons and weekends find them at their girls' sporting events, driving carpools, and feeding people. Sam tags along as often as possible.