Talk

Engaged: How To Know That You Know

Ben Stuart
June 30, 2019

How do you know that you’ve met the person you’re supposed to spend your life with? What are things we should see in a relationship that give us this confidence? Continuing our Single, Dating, Engaged, Married collection, Ben Stuart gives us specific things to look for as you evaluate whether or not a relationship should continue on to engagement

Key Takeaway

Jesus loves us and forgives us regardless of our faults and past. When seeking a spouse, we must seek someone who loves us the same as this. The image of Jesus and the church is our motivation to love someone to the depths and forgive them as Christ has forgiven us.

How do you know you’re ready to marry someone?

1.    There is excitement!

2.   You are improved by their company.

3.   There is new life.

4.   There is resolve to stay.

5.   Ready for commitment even when it is hard.

6.   There is effective communication.

7.   Survive a moment of confession.

8.   Share your story. It signals that you trust them with it.

9.   Approval from your community.

“
“To want to be married is to want to be fully known. You want someone to know you down to the depths and love you fully anyway.”
”
Ben Stuart

Discussion Questions

  1. How do you and your partner communicate?
  2. Does your communication create unity?
  3. Can you forgive your partner for their past?

Scripture References

35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
1Solomon’s Song of Songs.
2Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—

for your love is more delightful than wine.

3Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

your name is like perfume poured out.

No wonder the young women love you!

4Take me away with you—let us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Friends

We rejoice and delight in you;

we will praise your love more than wine.

She

How right they are to adore you!

1A good name is more desirable than great riches;

to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

8Listen! My beloved!

Look! Here he comes,

leaping across the mountains,

bounding over the hills.

9My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.

Look! There he stands behind our wall,

gazing through the windows,

peering through the lattice.

10My beloved spoke and said to me,

“Arise, my darling,

my beautiful one, come with me.

11See! The winter is past;

the rains are over and gone.

12Flowers appear on the earth;

the season of singing has come,

the cooing of doves

is heard in our land.

13The fig tree forms its early fruit;

the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.

Arise, come, my darling;

my beautiful one, come with me.”

6Place me like a seal over your heart,

like a seal on your arm;

for love is as strong as death,

its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

It burns like blazing fire,

like a mighty flame.

7Many waters cannot quench love;

rivers cannot sweep it away.

If one were to give

all the wealth of one’s house for love,

it would be utterly scorned.

2I slept but my heart was awake.

Listen! My beloved is knocking:

“Open to me, my sister, my darling,

my dove, my flawless one.

My head is drenched with dew,

my hair with the dampness of the night.”

3I have taken off my robe—

must I put it on again?

I have washed my feet—

must I soil them again?

4My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening;

my heart began to pound for him.

5I arose to open for my beloved,

and my hands dripped with myrrh,

my fingers with flowing myrrh,

on the handles of the bolt.

4The soothing tongue is a tree of life,

but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

14My dove in the clefts of the rock,

in the hiding places on the mountainside,

show me your face,

let me hear your voice;

for your voice is sweet,

and your face is lovely.

13Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,

but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

15Catch for us the foxes,

the little foxes

that ruin the vineyards,

our vineyards that are in bloom.

Ben Stuart
Ben Stuart
Ben Stuart is the pastor of Passion City Church D.C. Prior to joining Passion City Church, Ben served as the executive director of Breakaway Ministries on the campus of Texas A&M. He also earned a master’s degree in historical theology from Dallas Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Donna, live to inspire and equip people to walk with God for a lifetime.