The Power of Presence—Claiming a Healthy Relationship with Technology

When we talk about relationships, our minds typically go to people, friends, family, and significant others. But rarely do we consider our relationship with objects, especially something as present in our lives as our phones. Yet, the time we spend with our phones is steadily increasing, making it all the more important to evaluate what a healthy relationship with them looks like.

In this conversation, Grant Partrick sits down with Hannah Brencher and Joey Odom to explore just that: the growing tension between connection and distraction in our digital age.

Joey shares a pivotal moment—standing on the sidelines of his son’s soccer game, only to miss his first-ever goal because he was staring at his phone. That moment sparked something in him and led him to co-found Aro, a tool designed to help families reduce screen time and reclaim presence.

Hannah reflects on a personal wake-up call. She noticed her daughter mimicking her constant phone use, reaching for it without thinking. That moment of conviction inspired her to write Unplugged, a book urging readers to create healthy tech boundaries.

So here we are—phone in hand, swaying between two extremes: wanting to chuck our devices into the woods and never look back, or scrolling endlessly without pause. But what if there’s a better way?

Think back to childhood. Maybe you had a favorite blanket or stuffed animal you couldn’t part with—your comfort, your constant. That sense of attachment wasn’t just emotional; it was formative. In many ways, we’ve carried that same level of attachment into adulthood—only now, our “blankie” glows, buzzes, and follows us everywhere.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

When God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, He didn’t leave him alone. He reminded him of His presence. That same reminder applies to us today. We cannot be fully present with others—or with God—when our phones command our attention.

Phones give us the illusion of being everywhere, but in reality, they often keep us from being anywhere fully. They rob us of presence, especially with the people right in front of us.

We’re accessible, sure. We can send a birthday text or react to someone’s story. But are we truly available? Do we go out of our way to be with others, even when it’s inconvenient?

This generation may one day die with more memories of others than they’ve created for themselves. That doesn’t have to be our story. “What is” doesn’t have to be “what will be.”

It starts with us.

You might feel tempted right now to send this to a friend, parent, or spouse. But before we try to change others, we must learn to parent ourselves. We’re responsible for setting the boundaries we want to model.

Because this isn’t just about horizontal relationships with people—it’s also about our vertical relationship with God.

In John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” The enemy would love nothing more than to use our screens as a tool of distraction—to steal our time, to diminish our identity, to erode our connection with Christ.

In the parable of the sower, Jesus warns about the thorns—things that choke out our growth: the worries of life, the deceitfulness of wealth, and the pursuit of pleasure. We’re living in those thorns now, scrolling through curated lives, comparing and consuming, wondering why we feel empty.

We need God more than ever.

Titus 2:11-14 reminds us that the grace of God not only saves us but trains us, teaching us to say no to worldly passions and yes to godly living as we wait for Jesus. In 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Paul challenges us to train ourselves in godliness. Discipline isn’t just for athletes—it’s the path to spiritual vitality.

So, what does discipline with our phones look like?

It starts small. Begin by putting your phone away during your time with God. Let Scripture—not Instagram—be your source of truth. Ask yourself: Do I know my Savior as deeply as I know influencers online?

Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). Loving God means giving Him our attention.

Try stepping away from your phone for just five minutes today. Then build toward two hours of phone-free time each day. Two hours a day add up to one month every year. One month reclaimed—given back to God, others, and yourself.

In the end, it’s not just about stepping away from a device—it’s about stepping back into community, into connection, into presence.

1. How have you personally experienced the pull of your phone in moments that deserved your full presence?

2. What do you think it means to have a “relationship” with your phone?

3. In what ways has your phone use affected your relationships with friends or family?

4. Have you ever noticed a child mimicking your phone habits? What did that show you?

5. What would it look like for you to “parent yourself” when it comes to screen time?

6. Why is physical presence important in today’s digitally connected world?

7. How do you think phone use might be affecting your spiritual life?

8. What practical boundaries could you implement this week to reduce phone dependency?

9. Have you ever felt comparison or discontent after scrolling social media? How do you combat that?

10. What does godly discipline look like in a tech-driven world?