Who to Date

Did you know the longest chapter in the book of Genesis is about Abraham finding a wife for his son Isaac? Let that sink in for a moment. It’s not creation or the origin of evil or genealogies that occupy the most space; it’s the pursuit of a spouse.

God cares about your longing to be married. 

As we settle into the story of Abraham finding a wife for his son, we discover practical truths that can help shape our pursuit of a spouse for the better.

Let’s get started.

Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.

Genesis 24:1-4

It was common for the Father to lead the charge in finding a wife in this day, and in this passage of scripture, we see Abraham give his servant some pointed instruction.

Abraham knew that the people he lived among had no allegiance to the God he loved and the faith he followed. It was of the utmost importance to Abrabram to set his son up with someone who knew and followed the one true God; He was determined to link his son's life with someone with a heavenly allegiance.

A.W. Tozer said, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

What you believe about God determines what you value, and what you value determines what you will chase. If you are considering linking up your life with someone, resolve first where they are going.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?”

Different goals. Different beliefs. Different direction. 

As we evaluate someone we are considering dating, we should ask:

• What are they chasing after in life?
• What are their goals? 

Pay close attention to what they are pursuing.

There is value in variety, but bind yourself with someone running after the same cause, in the same direction, at the same pace.

As a believer, you live by faith, in lockstep allegiance to the things of God (more on that tomorrow). It doesn’t mean you are striving for perfection, but it does mean that in your obedience to him, you follow Him and honor what He says in all things. 

Paul’s call here is not to abandon everyone with no allegiance to God but to caution us in building our lives with an unbeliever in marriage.

We believe there are two results of a relationship like this:  

• You will abandon what you believe out of allegiance
• You will continue in different directions with no destination in sight

As a believer, you are heaven-bound, running a race after the things of God. You want to link hands with someone running after the same goal, and not force a connection between someone who ultimately desires different things.

As you run your race after the things of God, you may find that others will run right by you. Don’t change your pace or reroute your direction – run your race.