Lysa TerKeurst

Boundaries are meant for protection, and not harm. Read about how we can set healthy, God-honoring boundaries as followers of Christ.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1, NIV) Recently, a sweet gal sent me a message on Instagram. She wanted me to know more about her story. She thought she’d been obedient to God for the past decade after an immense heartbreak, but she was questioning that now because her life was still really hard. She wanted to know if I would be so positive and confident in trusting the Lord if I hadn’t met Chaz, who I’m now married to. Such a fair and understandable question. Trusting God without seeing the redemption we thought we’d get to see by now can feel like the deepest betrayal of all. It’s also what builds our faith, but sometimes we’d rather have relief than another learning opportunity. I sat with her question for a while. I don’t hang out in my DMs often and rarely get to respond as much as I would like to. But since I read this message, I knew I needed to respond. And I didn’t want my answer to just gloss over her deep pain with a few cliché sentences and a Bible verse. She deserved more than that. And so do you as you may find yourself navigating something similar. This is what I wrote back: I’ve spent many nights staring up into the sky, bewildered as I felt my disappointment turn into grief turn into numbness turn into distance from God. There were so many times when I thought God was about to turn everything around, but then things got worse, not better. Some of my darkest days were when I could not make sense of what God was allowing. And my fear was: Because God allowed all of this, what else might He allow? Slowly, I have realized I cannot attach my hope to God making things feel fair. And I certainly can’t attach my hope to the outcomes I desperately want. I have to attach my hope to who God is. He is good. He is faithful. He is my Father who loves me. God’s character, which never changes, is His personal promise to me. And to you. We can stand with assurance on who He is even when we don’t understand what He does or doesn’t do. There are still hurtful things happening surrounding my divorce too. I wish this wasn’t the case for either of us. I am grateful God has brought a man who loves Jesus into my life and grateful for all the joy that comes along with being in a healthy relationship. But even this gift comes with its own fears and uncertainties. So my challenge now is not to tie my hope of a better future to this new man. It’s the same lesson I was learning during the many years of feeling so very alone. It’s the same lesson once again, just with different challenges. I’ve asked the same question when my friends found new love while I was still in the midst of intense loneliness. It’s so hard. I understand and so wish I could look into your future and whisper back to you all the wonderful things ahead of you. While I can’t do that, I can promise God is at work. Hang on, beautiful friend. I wanted to make more concrete promises to her about what God is working on. I would have loved to give her a time frame to help ease her angst. I would love for there to be a way to make this possible for all of us. But I guess through my own journey, I’ve come to terms with the truth that if it was good for us to have this information, God would surely give it to us. So the fact that He isn’t allowing us access to these specific details lets me know that having that information isn’t what’s best. I rarely like not knowing or not having my “why?” questions answered. I don’t always want to leave room for the mystery of God. I’m not usually eager to claim verses like Hebrews 11:1 to be my favorite: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (NIV). I want faith to operate with the speed of my eyesight. I am desperate for visible evidence, so faith doesn’t feel so risky. But faith doesn’t work that way. Faith will always make us anxious and unsure unless we are confident in the goodness of God. If we stand firm on His goodness and know everything He allows is somehow flowing from that goodness, then we will have a lot less fear in trusting Him. Faith in God means to be assured of His goodness even when what He allows doesn’t feel good, seem good, or look good right now. This is a lot to sit with, but I hope you feel a little less alone today as you walk through your own hard situations right now. Like the sweet friend who sent me a message, we all have “what-if” questions we’re carrying around. But I’ve found the best way to fight through our toughest questions is to create space in our thoughts for more of God’s perspective. Prayer Father, I believe that You care deeply for me and know what is best for my life. Even in the moments when I don’t understand what You’re doing or why I’m walking through a certain situation, I will continue to be obedient and follow after You. In Jesus’ name, amen.   Have you ever thought, how can I trust God when I don’t understand what He’s allowing to happen right now? Lysa TerKeurst has been there. In her new book, I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t, Lysa will help you release the heavy mental and emotional weight of what you don’t understand by learning how God’s justice will always prevail. To grab a copy of Lysa TerKeurst’s book I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t, click here.

Have you ever wondered how you can trust God when you don’t understand what He’s allowing to happen right now? “So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai.” (Esther 7:10a, NIV)  In Esther 7, we read an account of Haman’s downfall, the man who was planning to kill the Jewish people. Haman’s pride backfired, and his evil intentions led to his own humiliation. Ultimately Haman, the one who had been scheming to kill others, became the one begging for his own life. The very gallows he built to kill Esther’s beloved relative and guardian, Mordecai, became the place his own death took place: “So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai” (Esther 7:10, NIV). He ate the fruit of his own wicked schemes.  No human could have possibly arranged for all this to happen… but God could. Even though God’s name is not specifically mentioned in the book of Esther, here we learn that sometimes, God does incredible moves without calling any attention to Himself at all. Esther certainly did her part, as did many others. But they didn’t do the wrong things to try and bring about the right things. Doing things God’s way and in God’s timing is the right way and the right timing.  This isn’t the only time in scripture where an evil plan looked like it was going to win. In the life of Jesus, his enemies (King Herod, the Pharisees and Sadducees, and Pontius Pilate to name a few) all believed they had created a foolproof plan to get rid of the Messiah and to overthrow His reign.  But the men who came against Jesus weren’t the only villains in the story. The ultimate villain was the enemy, Satan. But the irony is that the very plan of the enemy led to the redemptive story of Jesus’ resurrection. Evil forces set Jesus on the journey to the cross, but with every step Jesus takes, evil was closer to defeat.  In a similar reversal, the agenda and strategy of Haman brought about his own demise. In both Esther and Jesus’ story: There was an evil plan. There was an enemy. Innocent people were going to be destroyed if someone didn’t step in to save them. A hero came from humble beginnings and looked nothing like what the people expected. The heroes remained humble and honored God in their approach to handling the dire situation.The heroes were uniquely positioned by God to fulfill the plan of God.The heroes set aside what was best for them for a greater purpose. In the case of Haman’s death, it was the guilty dying in place of the innocent. In the case of Jesus, the innocent died in the place of the guilty. Oh friend, I pray we cling to this truth today: Darkness, sin and hopelessness have been overcome. Jesus did it for me. And He did it for you. Jesus loves you. Jesus sees you. The battle you’re facing, no matter how dark it feels, isn’t hopeless. We may not be able to see victory right now, but because of Jesus, evil is in the process of being ultimately defeated. The world as we know it now, plagued with sin and pain, is not our home. The new heaven and new earth are closer than we think (Revelation 21:3-8). But for now, our assignment is to keep following God and keep trusting Him. I know that’s not easy, especially when so much of what we are facing feels incredibly unfair. Sometimes I think I hold on to the burden of unfairness because I don’t see tangible evidence of God doing anything. But this is what I’m reminding myself of: we don’t serve a do-nothing God. Even in the silence, the unknown, and the places where it looks like evil is winning, He is working. We may experience evil in this world, but even still, God reigns over evil. There is a Savior of the world who will right all the wrongs. Even if it takes a really long time and even if I don’t see it in my lifetime. Victorious Jesus will have victory in the wrongs done to you and the evil committed against you. This doesn’t mean we give up. It means we’re giving over to God what was never ours to carry. In the meantime, we simply have to have room for what we don’t understand … for the mystery of God. Romans 11:33-36 reminds us of this: “Oh, the depth of the riches and the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments and untraceable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? And who has ever given to God, that he should be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever. Amen.” (CSB) Prayer Heavenly Father, purify my heart today. I trust You to handle any and all outcomes that I feel unsure of or overwhelmed by. I lay down situations that are worrying me. Help me to be obedient to You. I want to walk in step with You, Your ways, and Your timing. In Jesus’ name, amen.   This is an adapted article from Lysa TerKeurst’s book I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t.  Have you ever thought, how can I trust God when I don’t understand what He’s allowing to happen right now? Lysa TerKeurst has been there. In her new book, I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t, Lysa will help you release the heavy mental and emotional weight of what you don’t understand by learning how God’s justice will always prevail. To grab a copy of Lysa TerKeurst’s book I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t, click here.         Check out this episode of The Grove Podcast, Shelley Giglio and Lysa TerKeurst unpack practical ways to move forward from places of hurt and how to invite life-giving community back into your life when fear feels overwhelming.

This is an adapted article from Lysa TerKeurst’s book, I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) I’ve been studying the topic of trust lately. And what I’ve realized is that I attach a great deal of my trust in God to my desire for things to turn out like I think they should.  I want the goodness of God to compel Him to fix things, change minds, prevent hurt, punish the bad, and vindicate the good on my timeline. I want the goodness of God to make people who do hurtful things say they are sorry and then act better, do better, be better. I’m desperate for Him to make circumstances good in the timing that seems good to me. But that’s not faith. It’s actually a sign that because I still don’t understand what he allowed to happen in my past, I’m struggling to trust him with my future. So I’ve started asking myself this question: Can I trust Him enough to really start surrendering the outcomes of the way my life will go? Proverbs 3:5–6 instructs, “Trust in the Lord withall your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” I know these verses, but I want to live these verses. And in order to do that, I must acknowledge God’s version of making my path straight most likely will not line up with what I expect. Ugh. Can I do that? Can I make peace with the fact that my definition of a path being made straight is limited by my human thinking and emotion? Can I find my security in the unlimited, all knowing power of God? Friend, as we sit with all of this, I’m reminded of this big, uprooted oak tree I once saw after some bad weather. It was a stately tree that appeared incredibly grounded and stable. But as I got closer to the fallen giant, I saw that when it fell, the roots were so shallow that they lifted out of the ground as well. As a crew was cutting up the tree to remove it, I saw that the tree was hollow on the inside. I just had to know: What made such a seemingly immovable tree fall? One of the men said, “Shallow roots and ants.” “Huh?” I replied. He explained that sometimes big trees that grow in yards with sprinkler systems get so easily satisfied by the water from the surface that the roots don’t need to go deep into the ground for water. The trees can look strong and stable, but shallow roots make them less stable and way more vulnerable in storms and strong winds.  Oh boy. I could feel the life lesson coming in hot.  When life looks like I expect it to and feels relatively good, I am tempted to get satisfied with where I’m at and not continue to grow deeper and deeper in my faith. Or if I’m just letting others sprinkle some biblical wisdom on me through their sermons and podcasts but I’m not digging into God’s Word and going deeper in my application, then my roots will be shallow.  That all seems okay until a storm comes. And storms always eventually do come. The ants played a big part in this tree falling as well. They target where some sort of injury has occurred and the moisture that gets in has started to weaken the wood. Taking full advantage of the softer wood, they wear away at it, eventually even damaging the sound wood and making the treehollow inside, even though it may look solid from the outside. The more hollow the tree becomes, the more it will lose structural strength. Notice that the hollowing out of the tree and the tree having shallow roots happened slowly, daily, one compromise after another. I am a lot like that tree. But instead of trying to control things beyond my control, I want to make the choice to surrender them today to God. And then surrender again tomorrow. And the next day too. Refusing to control is an act of building more and more trust with God.  Each time I have doubts and fears about God’s goodness, I will bring these to God and let His truth refute them. My job is daily obedience to God. His job is holding and handling my future. This is a whole lot to think through. It’s weighty stuff. But for today, let’s hold onto this truth: Trusting God is holding loosely the parts of my life I want to hold most tightly. Is it easy? No. But is it the pathway to the peace I long for? Yes, it really is. Prayer Father God, I want to be a woman with deep roots. A woman firmly anchored to Your truth and filled by Your Spirit. I confess today how much I need Your help in resisting control, letting you lead me, and learning to trust You. In Jesus’ name, amen.     It’s so confusing when some people who do such wrong things seem to get away with what they did. In the midst of this hurt, do you ever find yourself secretly wondering … “Whose team is God really on here?” Lysa TerKeurst understands and wrote her new book, I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t, just for you. You can grab a copy of this resource by clicking here.       In this episode of The Grove Podcast, Shelley Giglio and Lysa TerKeurst unpack practical ways to move forward from places of hurt and how to invite life-giving community back into your life when fear feels overwhelming.