Talk

The Chain of Bitterness

Brad Jones

September, 23, 2018

There are things that we have to walk away from in life. Chains that will bind us up despite the freedom given to us in Christ, and if we aren’t willing to let them go, will keep us from living in the fullness of God’s plan for our lives.

In this message, Brad Jones wants us to not only realize what chains of bitterness we are holding on to due to the actions of people, but the chains of bitterness are we holding in regards to our relationship with God.

Key Takeaway

You may think you have a right to hold to some bitterness and unforgiveness, but it's robbing you. God has so much joy in store for you that you don't want to miss out on.

Bitterness is the self-inflicted loathing of psychologically hoping to change the situation by directing anger toward the person who wronged us. We internalize and identify with it.

There are plenty of examples in the Bible of people who could have chosen to become bitter, but didn't: Joseph, Job, Hannah, Ruth. However, Ruth's mother-in-law, Naomi, took her losses as a personal punishment from God. She changed her name to "Mara" which means bitter. See Ruth 1:19-21. She was doing nothing to hide it. Does she ever turn it around?

How can we walk in freedom?

Luke 15:11-32

The parable of the lost son normally focuses on the younger son who disrespects with father, runs off, and squanders all of his inheritance, and when he comes to his senses finally returns home. However, there is an older brother in this story and if we're honest, we're usually the older brother. He was bitter. He had to watch his dad wait patiently at the front door every day for his brother to return. He had to continue to help with the running of the house. He had to deal with the disrespect of his younger brother to his entire family. He never got a party. He never got a day off. And he was mad when his brother came home and let his dad have it.

What can we learn from Naomi and the older brother?

1) We have to see and recognize our own chain. We have to see our bitterness. We like to think it's the size of a little chain necklace, but it's actually massive. We use it as a coping mechanism, our right, or what we deserve. See Proverbs 14:10. We have a place to cast it off though. See 1 Peter 5:7.

2) We can't just unload on God and walk away, we need to listen to Him. He has something to say to us that we need to hear. The older brother spoke to his father without respect, but the father answered tenderly. He let his son know that he was with him the whole time and had access to everything. We need to stop obsessing over what's been done to us and start obsessing over what God did for us. Our freedom starts with listening. Praying and fasting. Leaning into what God is saying, leaning away from what the world is saying.

What's interesting is that Luke didn't really finish the story. He leaves us with the father and older son sitting outside while the party is going on inside. The son has a choice to make. He can stay out, sitting in his bitterness. Or he can go inside and celebrate with his father. Everyone is having a great time, the older brother is the only one missing out.

3) Forgiveness. It's the key that can undo the hold that the enemy has on you. Ephesians 4: 31-32 says to get rid of all bitterness, slander, and malice and to forgive as Christ forgave us. Matt 18:21-22 is emphasizing that there's no limit to our desire and ability to forgive. It's not excusing anything or saying to ignore boundaries and wise counsel. It's saying that we forgive like we have been forgiven. Be a person of reconciliation.

Matthew 1:5 tells of how Ruth made it into not only the genealogy of David but of Christ. Naomi, who has renamed herself bitter, stuck it out. She helped Ruth, she nurtured her. She eventually got to hold a grand-baby in her lap and rejoice in all the Lord had restored to her. She let go of her bitterness and did not miss out on the plan God had for her.

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"Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

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Common saying

Discussion Questions

What definition does Brad give for bitterness?
Who in the Bible handled tough situations without becoming bitter, and who gave in and allowed it to set them on a trajectory?
Have you ever recognized yourself as the older brother in the parable of the lost son (prodigal son)?
Do you have a chain of bitterness? What are the circumstances around that?
What do Proverbs 14:10 and 1 Peter 5:7 have to do with each other?
Do you take the time to sit and listen to God after you have unloaded on Him? How does the Father in the parable respond to the older brother?
Would you be the one to stay outside or to go to the party?
What is the key to undoing the hold that the enemy has on you if you have bitterness?
Why do we need to forgive?
What are you missing out on because of your bitterness, anger, or pride?

Scripture References

19So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, “Can this be Naomi?”

20“Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.

21I went away full, but the

Lord

has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The

Lord

has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

1Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. 2But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?

And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders

and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’

I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

The Parable of the Lost Coin

“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins

and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?

And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’

In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

The Parable of the Lost Son

11Jesus continued:

“There was a man who had two sons.

The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.

After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’

So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.

For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.

So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on.

‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.

But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.

But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

“ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.

But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”

1This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham:

2Abraham was the father of Isaac,

Isaac the father of Jacob,

Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,

3Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,

Perez the father of Hezron,

Hezron the father of Ram,

4Ram the father of Amminadab,

Amminadab the father of Nahshon,

Nahshon the father of Salmon,

5Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab,

Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth,

Obed the father of Jesse,

6and Jesse the father of King David.

David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,

7Solomon the father of Rehoboam,

Rehoboam the father of Abijah,

Abijah the father of Asa,

8Asa the father of Jehoshaphat,

Jehoshaphat the father of Jehoram,

Jehoram the father of Uzziah,

9Uzziah the father of Jotham,

Jotham the father of Ahaz,

Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,

10Hezekiah the father of Manasseh,

Manasseh the father of Amon,

Amon the father of Josiah,

11and Josiah the father of Jeconiah and his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon.

12After the exile to Babylon:

Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel,

Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel,

13Zerubbabel the father of Abihud,

Abihud the father of Eliakim,

Eliakim the father of Azor,

14Azor the father of Zadok,

Zadok the father of Akim,

Akim the father of Elihud,

15Elihud the father of Eleazar,

Eleazar the father of Matthan,

Matthan the father of Jacob,

16and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah.

Brad Jones

Passion City Church Atlanta is pastored by Brad Jones. Together, he and his wife Brittany have been a part of the Passion Movement for over a decade helping carry the heartbeat of Passion Conference and Passion City Church. They live in Atlanta with their two children, Caleb and Addy.