Marriage is sacred in the eyes of God. Louie Giglio explains that God created the covenant of marriage to display His love for the Church. Whether you are happily married or want to be married someday, be encouraged that if God is in it, He has the power to lean in and make it beautiful.
Key Takeaway
Marriage is a picture of God's love for the Church through Christ. It's sacred. It's not just something between a man and woman, it's between God and the world.
Marriage is a big deal to God and high in the economy of Heaven, God is for amazing marriages. They change the world. Marriage is a picture. It's more than something between a man and woman. Marriage is something between God and the world.
Ephesians 5:21 says to submit to one another out of reference for Christ. That applies to all relationships.
Ephesians 5:22-33 is specific to marriage. God has organized families a certain way for a reason. The man in the head of the family, it's not a democracy where everyone gets a vote. He wants wives to be under the leadership of her husband. There's no reason to be upset about that. In verse 25, God calls husbands to love their wives like Christ loves the Church and gave Himself up for her. Every wife want and will follow a man who will give himself up for her. Just like Christ loves the Church, men are to do the same. Just like Christ sanctified the Church, husbands are to wash and sanctify their wives and present them without blemish. Just as Christ loves and cherishes the Church, husbands love and cherish their wives.
Marriage is a picture of God's love for the Church through Christ. It's the most sacred of all things because it is a reflection of God's commitment to His people.
Marriage is a covenant. It's not a ceremony, a party, an exchanging of rings and vows. Covenant means a legally binding agreement. This is why it was such a life changing sentence when He said, "this is a new covenant I give to you." It's not emotional. It's can't be broken for all of eternity. It's God's way of reassuring His commitment to us.
The modern definition of covenant is a binding agreement between two parties which is in effect until unforeseen disappointment or hardship, or until a better opportunity comes along.
That's not God's definition. Two of the most important words we say are "I do".
Practical ways to strengthen your marriage
1) Prioritize your marriage. It's sacred in the economy of God and you need to recover it's sacredness in your life. That means your spouse is the most important relationship you have on earth apart from Jesus. Jobs, best friends, kids, pets, career-none of those are more important than your spouse. We > Me. He makes two people into one person, that's a mystery and a miracle. The Father weaves Himself into the relationship. A threefold cord is not easily broken. See Ecclesiastes 4:12. Jesus and the Holy Spirit also get woven in. These 5 strands tie the knot and come together to make one.
Of note, kids are not included in the "become one" part. They will grow up and become one with someone else and you and your spouse are still going to be one. That's why nothing is more important than God and your spouse.
2) You align your orbits. Make small changes to adjust your orbits instead of living fragmented lives apart from each other. You both might be doing great individually, but your "we" is struggling. Put lunch on the calendar, have a date night, take trips without your kids.
3) Talk to your spouse. Have a real conversation. 3 questions to help.
How are you? And you'll have to ask more than once. "I'm good" is never the full and complete answer.
What are you thinking about right now?
Are you ok?
Allow for vulnerability without immediate retaliation.
4) Contend for your marriage. We contend for the stuff we want.
Is this good for my marriage?
Is this good for my spouse?
You can't camp out in places that are going to destroy that sacred trust in marriage with your partner.
Pray often and intentionally for your spouse.
5) Champion your spouse. Do it publicly and privately. They need this. Feel free to post about your spouse encouraging them, supporting them, and appreciating them. Also do this privately where it's personal.
6) Resign from the mission of changing your spouse. Encouraging the things that you love is helpful, but it doesn't change what drives you crazy. Nagging never works either. It's God's job to change people, not you. Pray that God will do what only He can do. Again, pray for your spouse. Ask God to help you understand something you do that bothers your spouse and to have the humility and grace to change it...even if you don't think it needs to change.
7) Adopt the greater mission of making Jesus famous as the frame of your family photo. God is first and only. He has given us a mission to know Christ and to make Him known. Everything else comes after that.
What frame are you putting your family photo in?
We have an awesome family.
We have a great marriage.
We want Jesus to be known. The picture is about the frame.
Pick one of these and practice it for 3 months. See what happens.
Discussion Questions
How is marriage a picture? What does it represent?
According to Ephesians 5:21, what applies to all relationships?
Why did God make the man the leader of the household? How are the husband and wife supposed to relate to each other?
Compare and contrast God's definition of covenant and the modern definition of it.
In most marriages you see, which relationship has the priority?
Read Ecclesiastes 4:12. This is not a marital passage, but how does it relate to the miracle of marriage?
Why is praying for you spouse so important? What does it communicate to them?
Do you find it easy or difficult to champion your spouse? What do you wish you could tell them?
Who's job is it to change your spouse? What humble role can you choose to take?
If you could pick one of the practical steps to work on, which would it be and why?
Scripture References