Silencing Your Inner Critic

The Real Thing series continues in 1 John 3:18-24 as Ben Stuart explains what can hold us back from prayer and how John kindly guides us to respond when our own hearts condemn us.

John used two simple words to define prayer: before Him. We are always in God’s presence, but when we are alone with Him, we often struggle with where our thoughts go. One reason prayer is difficult is that we can’t stand the silence. A constant inner debate rages within us, and the voice we hear is often condemning.

In Zechariah 3, the prophet saw a vision of Joshua, the High Priest, standing before God while Satan stood beside him, accusing him. Joshua was dressed in filthy garments—an image many of us can relate to. We hesitate to pray because it feels like that—exposed, unworthy, and under accusation. Being in God’s presence forces us to confront ourselves. To avoid this discomfort, we distract ourselves with work, entertainment, and other numbing agents. But at the end of the day, we still have to face ourselves.

How do we move from a condemning heart to a confident one and escape the tyranny of self-absorption?

1 John 3:18 tells us we are in the truth when we love in both word and action. Our behavior reflects our spiritual lineage—we look like our Father when we love in truth. This reassures us when our hearts condemn us and make us want to run.

John teaches that having Christ in our lives should lead to transformation, but he also acknowledges that growth is a process, and many of us are a mess. When our hearts accuse us, we must remember that God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything. While our hearts tell only part of the story, God sees the full picture. Rather than arguing with ourselves, we should turn to Him.

John echoes his earlier teaching: walk in the light, and Jesus will cleanse you. Honesty is the first step to holiness. We are not perfect, but when we confess our sins, we are forgiven because of Jesus. God distinctly remembers forgiving the sins that the Accuser keeps bringing up. We have an Advocate who tells the whole story. God has forgiven us, Jesus has cleansed us, and the Holy Spirit silences the condemnation in our hearts. As 1 John 1:9 says, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Romans 3:24 reminds us that we are justified and made right with God by His grace through Jesus’ redemption.

We are called to walk in confidence before the Lord. Constantly cowering or treading lightly doesn’t just reveal our insecurity—it also reflects how we perceive God’s character. But He invites us to be completely honest before Him, without fear. Imagine if, in moments of failure, your first instinct was, Of course, I’m going to talk to my Father about this. That’s the relationship God wants with us. Hebrews 4:16 urges us to approach the throne of grace with confidence because that’s exactly what God desires.

Jesus once told a story to illustrate the Father’s heart. A young man took his inheritance, squandered it on reckless living, and ended up destitute, living among pigs. In his lowest moment, he decided to return home, hoping to work as a servant for his father. But as he approached, his father saw him from a distance, ran to him, and embraced him—filthy and broken as he was. The son tried to confess all his failures, but his father drowned out his words with celebration, declaring, My son was dead and is alive again! This is the heart of our Father—one we must remember.

When we walk in this confidence, we receive whatever we ask of God, as long as it aligns with His will. Sometimes, we ask for good things, but God, seeing what we cannot, may withhold them for a time. In those moments, He asks us to trust and obey Him. A deep relationship with God means knowing He is good and delights in blessing His children.

So where does all of this begin? With believing in Jesus and loving others. Interestingly, while we’ve made spirituality a private and personal matter, God defines it as enjoying Him and enjoying others. His Spirit is in us, always present. So, confess your sin, step confidently before Him, and love others sacrificially—for He will be with you always.