A Pathway Out of Loneliness

As our Disciple series continues, Ben Stuart emphasizes the importance of community and why God desires us to be in it.

Being a disciple has five main elements: evangelism, community, discipleship, service, and worship.

The Christian life doesn't start with information; it starts with transformation. You were dead, but you were saved by grace through faith. (Ephesians 2:8-9) We are reconciled with God and with others. We tell others about this grace and transformation. This is evangelism.

Now, we will look at community. When you were born, you were instantly a son or daughter. The same happens when we put our faith in Jesus. We join the family of God, so not only are we instantly sons and daughters, but we are also brothers and sisters. The best way to love a parent is to get along with each other.

Community: God has bound us together. We desperately need it. We are "forever elsewhere" when we lose ourselves to our phones and other distractions. In his book, The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt explained that most of humanity was socialized through the embodied real world: body language, cues, one-on-one rhythm of communication, and learning to get along. In the virtual world, so much of our socialization is disembodied. We have removed body language. Our communication is incongruent and with wide swaths of time in between one-on-one messaging. We've lost social cues and now have communication with an audience rather than one person. We can cancel anyone we don't like. Psychologically, people become disposable. We feel that. There is an increase in anxiety and depression with a decrease in time with friends. Loneliness is now considered a health epidemic. We need to get back to the sacredness of how God made us.

Practical living from Ephesians 4:11-16.

1) We need community because God rigged it this way.

• Ephesians 4:11—God gave us certain types of gifted people. Apostles are the official emissaries of the King. Prophets remind people that God has a covenant with us, and we are to be knit together in it. Evangelists are gifted to proclaim the good news. Shepherds care for and nurture a community: pastors. Teachers teach people what they don't know.
• Ephesians 4:12—These people are gifted to equip the Church. They are like equipment managers. They don't play the game, but they get you the equipment you need to play the game. "Saints" mean "holy ones, set apart." When you come to Christ positionally, you are set apart and belong to Him. Constitutionally, we're still a mess. So, we go through a process of sanctification. Just like kids are kids, they don't have to earn being a child, but they still have to conform to the image of their parents so they can flourish.
• We are equipped for the work of the ministry. The saints do the work of the ministry. We do it.
• If you don't want to be involved, understand who you're saying no to.

2) Community brings maturity.

• Ephesians 4:13—Maturity means we've arrived at the proper destination. We help each other until we arrive at the unity of faith and the knowledge of the Son of God. "Knowledge" here is the Greek word "epignosis" meaning "on top of knowledge". We have a deep, vital connection. We help each other love and trust Jesus.
• God gave gifts to different people; no one has all of them. We use them to help mature each other to the fullness of Jesus Christ. In order to develop your gift, you have to use it. Like working out, you deplete to develop. When you don't use your gifts or develop them, you're not just robbing the Church; you're robbing yourself.
• You aren't as self-sufficient as you think you are.

3) Community brings stability.

• Ephesians 4:14—We're supposed to be like children in our faith, but not like children in terms of insight. Children can't tell reality and are often confused and carried about. When you are on your own, you are hit by every wave. If you isolate, you don't become uninfluenced; you become more susceptible to influence, and it leads you astray. To isolate is one of the most dangerous things you can do.
• Ephesians 4:15-16—Christ is the source of our gifts, and He's the goal. He resources us with what we need to serve the community as we become more like Him. He's the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End.
• At some point, all human beings will disappoint you, so you have to start with the God who won't. When you come to give, your cup will be filled up, too.
• When it says "to work together properly," it means "commensurate with what it is." So, you may not be a mouth, you may be a finger tendon, but we would feel the loss if you weren't here. You may think you don't have a lot to offer; that's okay; bring what you've got.

Use the gifts God gave you to serve the people He saved until we see Him face to face.