Talk

A Love That Lasts

Heath Hatmaker
September, 29, 2024

Heath Hatmaker examines the differences between Christlike love and counterfeit love through this study of John 13.

Key Takeaway

Jesus unifies us through His love, and we must follow His example and love others in return.

We are in a loneliness epidemic.

So what do we do?

The tone of chapters 13-17, filled with discourse, is shepherding.

A Jewish teacher often called his disciples “little children,” but this is the first time Jesus does this in our recorded account from John.

John 13:34

The command to love isn't new.

Matthew 22:37-39

So, what makes it a new commandment? The measure with which we are to love.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: JUST AS I HAVE LOVED YOU, you also are to love one another.

It's no longer “ love as I love myself." The standard now is the love of Jesus. If the goal is to love like Christ... how does that differ from the counterfeit love we often experience?

—

Counterfeit Love vs. Christlike Love

1. Counterfeit Love is selfish. Christlike Love is selfless.

  • Matthew 20:26–27

  • Selfish love isn't even love.

  • Love is focused on the object of affection.

  • Christ GAVE Himself.

  • Is your love for others, at the root, about you? It's about your motive.

2. Counterfeit Love is transactional. Christlike Love is unilateral.

  • Romans 5:6–8

  • When we were DEAD in our sins... Christ died for us. We had exactly ZERO to offer when Christ unilaterally offered everything to us.

  • Christlike doesn't keep score.

  • 1 John 4:19

3. Counterfeit Love expects. Christlike Love initiates.

  • We, as believers, have a responsibility to initiate and foster community in our own lives.

  • People feel frustrated when they cannot find “community.” What they are really looking for is versions of themselves in others.

  • Biblical community is not about finding people your age, same stage of life, and same political party.

  • "Biblical community is about finding people that love God, loving them, while we then learn to love God better."

4. Counterfeit Love is guarded. Christlike Love is open.

  • Philippians 2:7–8

  • The text says Jesus EMPTIED himself being born in the likeness of man.

  • “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." - Brene Brown

  • In a culture then and a culture now that says “protect at all costs," Jesus opens himself up to humanity.

  • To never be truly seen is to never be truly known or loved.

  • The revealing of yourself can be painful. But the realization that you are seen is so comforting.

5. Counterfeit Love coddles. Christlike Love confronts.

  • Ephesians 4:14–16

  • What a misconception in our culture today—that love cannot disagree. That confrontation and correction must be unloving.

  • In my life, some of the most loving things people have done for me involved confronting my sin.

  • Galatians 6:1–2

  • Searching for people that exclusively agree with you is not searching for a Christlike community.

  • If nobody in your life is willing to confront your seen or unseen sins, you are susceptible to attack from the enemy.

—

Counterfeit love is built for show. Christlike love is a love that lasts.

Jesus created a group identified by one thing: love.

The way that God loves will never let you down.

John 13:35

“
"Biblical community is about finding people that love God, loving them, while we then learn to love God better."
”
Heath Hatmaker

Discussion Questions

  1. The command to love wasn't new—the command to love as Jesus loved us was new. How did this perspective help shift your understanding of the word 'love.'

  2. Are you currently loving someone in your life with selfish motives? If yes, how can you work toward loving them like Christ?

  3. Christlike love doesn't keep score. Have you been keeping score in your friendships—taking note of every time you extend yourself to someone? How can you shift a transactional mindset of love to Christlike?

  4. Are you taking the initiative to find community where you are? How?

  5. Do all of your friends look, think, act, and sound the same? How can you tangibly broaden your friendships?

  6. "To never be truly seen is to never be truly known or loved." Are you letting your guard down and being vulnerable with the people around you? If yes, how have you seen the fruit of that intimacy? If not, how can you work toward letting your walls down and letting people in?

  7. Biblical confrontation is incredibly loving. How have you experienced Christlike confrontation that has changed you for the better?

  8. Are you willing to confront someone you love? How can passivity be unloving?

Scripture References

31When he was gone, Jesus said,
“Now the Son of Man is glorified and God is glorified in him.
32
If God is glorified in him,
God will glorify the Son in himself, and will glorify him at once.
33
“My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come.
34
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
35
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
37Jesus replied:
“ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
38
This is the first and greatest commandment.
39
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
26
Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,
27
and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.
7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.
8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
19We love because he first loved us.
7rather, he made himself nothing

by taking the very nature of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

8And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

by becoming obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.
15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
1Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.
2Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Heath Hatmaker
Heath Hatmaker
Passion City Church 515 Students Director