The Best Marriage

Yesterday, we focused on wives receiving and affirming their husband’s leadership. Today, Ben Stuart focuses on the need for husbands to initiate and sacrifice so wives can be fully who they’re meant to be under God. 

For a marriage to flourish, both husband and wife must work to fulfill their roles for their household to thrive and be an example to nonbelievers of how Christ loves the Church.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Ephesians 5:25

Paul uses the word “love,” which is the word “agape,” most often described in the Bible as “covenantal love.”

What does that kind of love look like?

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Ephesians 5:25

that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:26-30

A man who would sacrifice himself for his wife to be fully who they’re meant to be under God and who initiates and cultivates with the resources he has is a man women can trust. 

Frequently, after people get married, the initiation seems to wither away. After a while, the two become more like roommates than partners. Eventually, they find themselves sitting in front of their friends and family, telling them they’re contemplating separation because they “fell out of love.”

The truth is, they might not have fallen out of love. They may have fallen out of trying. Love is like a fire; fire fades when you don’t stoke the flames. Husbands are called to initiate as the Father initiated.

1. Initiate romance. There is romance to be had inside of a marriage. Husbands can plan a date night, pick a restaurant without distractions, listen, and be interested in what their wives have to say.
2. Initiate communication. Never go to sleep angry. Communication may lead to sleepless nights, but it will also lead to peaceful days.
3. Initiate spiritual leadership. It’s the husband’s responsibility to lead their wife and children spiritually.

The enemy attempts to pull people back into our own world of selfishness. It’s a discipline to be the kind of man or woman God wants us to be, and it takes deliberate decisions to keep on the path that God is calling us to. But when the world sees a man treat his wife the way Christ does, they marvel.