Talk

How to Pray

Ben Stuart
January, 14, 2024

As we walk through seasons of “Calling on Heaven” through prayer and fasting, how can we cultivate a desire to commune with God regularly? In this message, Ben Stuart offers us some practical tips for integrating prayer into our daily lives and shows us that desperation might drive us to a place of prayer, but it is our delight in Jesus that will keep us there.

Key Takeaway

God, our Father, delights in talking with His children. He wants to hear everything, and He loves to give in return. He talks back and gifts us with His friendship. It may start with the discipline of praying, but over time, it will turn into delight.

Why pray at all?

When desperation meets the object of desire, the result is delight. Desperation will drive you to the Presence of God. When you are calling on Heaven, do you think to pray more? When desperation drives you there, you desire to stay there. We see in Psalm 42:1-2 that desperation can drive you to prayer. Discipline can, too, but how lovely to desire it, for your soul to thirst for God, where we seek not just relief from problems but desire to be in His Presence.

Prayer doesn't always start as delight. Sometimes, it starts as a discipline. Discipline can lead to desperation. The discipline of honest questions before the Lord can turn into desperate questions that draw you close to Him. A desperation will drive you to His Presence, but a desire to be there will sustain you.

Knowledge is a fuel for the affections. Love seeks knowledge of the beloved. Desperation leads to desire, and that's where hope is found.

Discipline will keep you. Desperation will lead you. Desire will sustain you.

What is prayer?

It's talking to God. The first example we have of communion with God is Adam being unashamed; he's able to be vulnerable with God because He's safe. Seven generations from Adam in Genesis 5:21-25, we meet Enoch. Enoch walked with God. You walk with people you like and talk about everything. Spending that much time with God doesn't make you irrelevant to the culture around you. Enoch would linger in the Presence of God, and that made Him more relevant as he prophesied to his generation. Hebrews 11:5 remembers Enoch and says he did not face death and was commended by God. He rewards those who seek Him. You come to your dad expecting him to give you what you need. Enoch went to God expecting His Presence. Moses did this in Exodus 33:7-11 and was called a friend of God.

Some would say His Presence and friendship don't sound like life-changing benefits when life is going on all around you. The truth is we all glory in our connections. We love to say, "I know a guy." Moses is getting to say that about the Almighty. That's what is on the table made available to us. Familiarity doesn't lack reverence. Psalm 25:14 says fear and friendship mingle. Sitting with God doesn't change your healthy and reverent fear of Him, but it does put into perspective your fear of everything else. There is peace in His Presence. You get the friendship and the fear.

That's what prayer is. You get to walk with Almighty God and talk as a friend with the Lord on high.

When and where should you pray?

Anytime, any place. That's what Enoch did. Structure also has benefits: a place where you can focus and have time without distraction. That's why Moses went to a tent outside the camp. The early Church had morning, noon, and evening prayers. Paul also says to pray without ceasing. See 1 Thessalonians 5:16. In everything you do, be aware of the Presence of God. James 5:13-14 says to pray no matter what you're feeling.

How should you pray?

You can say anything to Him. The Bible has really long prayers and super short prayers. The Psalms are full of different approaches. There is a freedom to come into God's Presence with who you are.

Structure does help. The Lord's Prayer is a framework. You can read through the psalms and pray. You can use ACTS.

  • Adoration- Hallowed be your name. Marvel at who He is. He's different than any other being, and He's constant. This can help you recenter and quiet your internal noise. It's not wrong to use other's words to describe your own heart. Use Psalms, liturgies, songs, etc.
  • Confession- Forgive us our sins. Pray what is really in you. Cast your anxiety on Him; He cares for you. See 1 Peter 5:7. Start with confessing your anxieties, then your insecurities, and then your sins. See Psalm 28:13, 32:1-7.
  • Thanksgiving- Tell Him what you're thankful for. See Colossians 4:2; we pray continually and with thanksgiving. Push away distractions that lead to anger and anxiety.
  • Supplication- Give us this day our daily bread. We are meant to ask Him for things. We're supposed to come to Him with our needs; He delights to fill empty hands.

1 Chronicles 4:9-10 shows us that we are allowed to pray like this, asking God for blessing. God stopped mid-genealogy to prove that. His name was "Pain" and trauma from his family; he looked to God and trusted Him as a good Father and asked Him for His hand of favor. God was happy to supply that.

Hebrews 4:14 calls Jesus our high priest. The job of a priest is to connect you to God. We have a High Priest in Heaven. You don't need an earthly one; you have one on the Throne: Jesus, the Son of God. How do we get to talk to Jesus like He's our Father? Because we've got Jesus to make that connection for us. He's the door and our access.

Why do sinful people get to enter the Throne room?

Hebrews 4:15 says that when Jesus left the Throne room to come to us, He took on our temptation yet never buckled to sin. This made him our perfect representative to stand for us before Heaven. He who knew no sin became sin for us so that we could be made right with God. See 2 Corinthians 5:21. He buried our shame so that the doorway to intimacy with God would be wide open.

Hebrews 4:16- So that is why we can draw near to the Throne of Grace with confidence. We can receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need.

"The prayer before every prayer is, 'may it be the real I who talk to You and the real You I talk to.'"
C.S. Lewis

Discussion Questions

  1. Ben Stuart described how amazing a cold pool felt after hot two-a-day football practices in Texas. You didn't have to convince him or prove the benefit. What similar experience have you had? Have you ever felt that way about prayer?

  2. Desperation can lead to delight, but sometimes it starts with discipline. Do you have any routines or habits set up to help you pray?

  3. How does Psalm 42:1-2 describe prayer?

  4. How are discipline, desperation, and desire all linked?

  5. What is a simple definition of prayer?

  6. What about Enoch's life is an example to us of how we can commune with God and be used by Him?

  7. Fear of God and friendship with God are connected, how do they relate to each other?

  8. When and where should you pray?

  9. Do you use any formats that help you structure time of prayer such as ACTS?

  10. Does God want you to ask Him for things? How does it honor a Father to ask Him when you have need?

Scripture References

1One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”
2He said to them,
“When you pray, say:

“ ‘Father,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come.

3
Give us each day our daily bread.
4
Forgive us our sins,

for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

And lead us not into temptation.
’ ”

5Then Jesus said to them,
“Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread;
6
a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’
7
And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’
8
I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity
he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.
9
“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
10
For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
11
“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for
a fish, will give him a snake instead?
12
Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?
13
If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
21When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah.
22After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters.
23Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years.
24Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.
25When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he became the father of Lamech.
5By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God.
7Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the “tent of meeting.” Anyone inquiring of the
Lord
would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp.
8And whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent.
9As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the
Lord
spoke with Moses.
10Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to their tent.
11The
Lord
would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.
14The
Lord
confides in those who fear him;

he makes his covenant known to them.

13Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.
14Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.
7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
13Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,

but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.
15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.
16Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
9Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.”
10Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.
21God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
16Rejoice always,

Ben Stuart
Ben Stuart
Ben Stuart is the pastor of Passion City Church D.C. Prior to joining Passion City Church, Ben served as the executive director of Breakaway Ministries on the campus of Texas A&M. He also earned a master’s degree in historical theology from Dallas Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Donna, live to inspire and equip people to walk with God for a lifetime.