Whether the lunch actually took place, I have no idea. Whether or not the man’s friends gleefully poked and prodded the prodigious writer for using short sentences instead of the flowing prose that filled the pages of their day, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter, what moves me (and why I share this with you), is the lesson we can learn from the accomplished author, who, with six words, silenced a table of critics and won him a small wager.
Six words, with which, just as he had bet them, Ernest Hemingway could tell a complete and compelling story. Six words perhaps scribbled on a bar napkin, or a piece of paper torn from a journal, or maybe even spoken aloud.
For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.
Please understand that I don’t mean to start off our time together on a dour note; it’s just that when the stakes are life and death, words matter a great deal. Ernest Hemingway knew it; men and women like Nathaniel Hawthorne, Winston Churchill, and Maya Angelou knew it. Yet, I am afraid we have forgotten the weight of our words, or at the least, cheapened them to the point where they are no longer worth dying for.
Words create worlds. In fact, words are the only things that ever have.
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night.
Genesis 1:1-31
Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing.
Isaiah 40:26
For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.
Psalm 33:9
By faith, we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Hebrews 11:3
The word command translates as ‘Rema,’ in Greek, “that which is said, word, saying expression, or statement of any kind. At the start of all things, it was words through which the creator flexed his creativity in the literal sense, and it is through that medium that he, to this day, continues to do so. It is the gift of His Word that tells us so, and it is the gift of his word that highlights our own power to create or destroy with our words.
Evil words destroy one’s friends; wise discernment rescues the godly.
Proverbs 11:9
Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:4
Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21
A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.
Proverbs 18:4
There is one who speaks rashly like he thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18
And yet…
At the loudest time in human history, as our words shoot like free radicals across screens, speakers, and small blue bubbles, we have abandoned, by and large, our responsibility to steward that power well and, therefore, castrated our effectiveness as ambassadors of reconciliation.
As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree is yesterday, and the second best time is today. So, let us walk hand in hand today.
We are unable to go back to yesterday and change our linguistic carelessness, but we are humbly willing to do so today for tomorrow’s sake.
Please understand that this is not a call for perfection. All of us will fail with our words countless times throughout our lives. But we must try. What follows are four lessons that I’ve learned the hard way and that I believe should sound like a siren when the all-to-easy way of the world collides with your sanctified heart and a choice towards destruction is imminent.
Learn to love to listen.
With a snap, my father would bring my attention back to his face (a hard thing to do when your son is 11 years old.)“James, were you listening to me?”
“Yes, I heard you.” I’d roll my eyes.
“I know you heard me,” he’d sigh with more patience than I deserved, “but were you listening?”
Listening, truly listening, is a spiritual discipline. It sets the person actively engaged in what you’re saying apart from those whose eyes shift for the next conversation. In other words, it’s being truthfully pastoral. Listening reveals the truth behind a person’s words and reminds you that they are as much in process as you are. It is a mono-focal activity, which means that to do it well, we have to fight off the temptation to put on display our own brilliance by formulating our response instead of giving another person our full attention. Jesus’ own brother warns us to be “quick to listen, and slow to speak” (James 1:19), warning that those who “consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves.” (James 1:26).
Said simply, if you aren’t willing to center your attention on what Heaven may be trying to say at any given moment of your life because you’re too busy speaking, then God may not be the main character of your story; perhaps you are. Listening is the door through which those who have asked for wisdom will receive it. It is how you will, like Elijah, stay safely placed where you should when the wind blows, the earthquake shakes, and the fire burns, and it is how you will discern the still, small whisper of God. Not only that, but it’s just polite. A human being, one crafted in the very image of God and who is living their single life here on Earth, is speaking to you. Give them the courtesy you would wish to extend your direction.
Your turn to speak will come; when it does, I pray that you learn to…
Say Less.
George Herbert, the 17th-century English poet, said, “Good words are worth much, and cost little.”Words, like any other commodity, come in varying qualities. Some are worth saying, and others are not. It is our arrogance and resulting carelessness that convinces us to spend our time on the latter.
We have a finite number of breaths to draw and expel in our lives, and I urge you not to waste them.
Time is fleeting, yet we spend so much of it gossiping or hiding behind phone screens, leaving comments that we would never say at our dinner tables or in our churches. Do we imagine that God has turned a blind eye to our devices? Do we hope His eyes roam the whole earth except in election years? For very few, the first voice one hears is that of God. Once again, most of us will have to let the wind blow, the earthquake shake, and the fire burn before we’re able to discern what it is He wants us to say, and when we do, then what we have to say will be finally worth saying.
Then, and only then, will we be armed with the words that allow you to…
Choose what world you want to live in.
1308 words ago, we noted that not only do words create worlds, but they are the only things that ever have. The only thing left for you and me to determine is what type of world we want to live in. This is paramount, and for the believer, I have both extraordinary news and a wholly appropriate burden. The world is so desperate for a drink of the water we call peace that it is willing to fill its mouth with anything that distracts itself from its thirst and, in so doing, is choking itself to death. In what feels like an era of unprecedented bitterness, separation, polarization, anger, and vitriol, you have been blessed with the balm. God can use the very words you use to heal, restore, and even redeem.
If prayer (speaking to the Almighty Creator) is the most powerful tool you have been given, certainly the ability to speak to and over His creation is the next. Spend an hour in a car with someone who consistently erupts with negativity, and you’ll find it almost impossible to be at peace; conversely, if you have dinner with that person in your life who has navigated life’s rocks and rapids with a positive attitude, and you’ll wonder why you waste your time complaining at all. What kind of influence do you want to have on the people around you? What kind of influence do you want to have on yourself? Make no mistake: the first person impacted by your choice of words is yourself.
Of course, to have this kind of discernment, the first, last, and most painful step will be to…
Die to yourself.
To put it bluntly, you do not have the luxury of letting loose whatever you choose anymore. In my copy of Holy Scripture, 1 Corinthians 9:19–23 is labeled “Paul’s Use of His Freedom,” and while I read it right now, tears are in my eyes. Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
Do you see it any more clearly now? The burden of your language is not one that defines your salvation (although that is a topic for another discussion); the responsibility to choose your words wisely is a matter of life and death for anyone and everyone who could possibly hear, read, or come under them in any way.. Look at how Paul states this very truth to Timothy as his young mentee is working to lead and shape the church in Ephesus:
Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.
1 Timothy 4:16
It is incumbent upon us as the Church to be better for the eternal sake of everyone.
This is not an overstatement, and I am exhausted of scaling its sharpness back against the dulling rock of kindness. The world can ill afford those of us who have donned the title of Christian to sound the same as those who haven’t. We have allowed media personalities and politicians to play pastors, shepherding us towards dissent and disaster, not because it is the right thing to do but because it profits them. In short, we have traded our calling to make disciples of all nations for the comfort of cushiony echo chambers. Why?
Because we have forgotten that we have to die. Physically, of course, we will all leave this realm one day (and what will we leave behind except the way we made others feel), but spiritually, if we have clothed ourselves in Christ, then the intended result is that it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us. This should stop us in our tracks and force us into reflection if not repentance. When was the last time we laid down what we wanted to say and asked the Holy Spirit what we needed to say? Did we fire off that text too quickly, giving in to the temptation to gossip or demean? Are comment sections across social media filled with our careful consideration or instant immaturity? Have we put Jesus on display through our language, or do we just claim Him in our bio and spew the language of Satan onto the world around us?
I understand that this may all come across as self-righteous. As I said before, please do not interpret my words as those of someone who believes themselves to be perfect. I, like you, struggle with my own thorns, my own failures, and my own faults. Perfection is not the goal nor the ask, and thank God that is true. But if you could, even ever so slightly, represent Jesus more clearly in a lost and broken world, wouldn’t you trade everything to do so?
All of us, I believe, working to be better each day, just a little bit better over the course of our lifetimes, can have an effect on the culture of the world beyond what we could imagine or measure.
I will leave you with this: If you believe any of what you have read, or even if you disagree with it entirely, for one week, just for seven days… try to be better with your words and then email me, and let me know if I was right or not. I’d be honored to talk about it with you. After all, even when sharing our thoughts on the topic, we can at least agree that words matter.
Scripture References
