All throughout the Scripture, we are called to be a grateful people. In fact, in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, Paul tells us that part of God’s will for our lives is that we would be thankful in all circumstances of life. How are you doing on that one? It’s difficult in the fast-paced world in which we live to cultivate a grateful heart. In another one of Paul’s letters (2 Timothy 3:1-5), he is warning his young protégé in the faith about what the culture will look like in the last days. Paul gives some examples of what it will look like when sin ravages the human heart and the culture is full of godlessness. He describes people as becoming lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, greedy, and reckless. We are familiar with his descriptions, but if you read it closely, you will notice that sandwiched right between the words “disobedient” and “unholy” is the word “ungrateful.” When I look around the world today and when I look at my own life, it’s easy to see how the human heart can subconsciously grow cold and become ungrateful.
I have always found the story in Luke 17 fascinating and convicting. Luke paints a picture of an event that happened when Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. He entered a village between Samaria and Galilee and was met by ten lepers. Leprosy was the most dreaded disease in the ancient world. The physical and social ramifications were severe. So, these ten lepers call out to Jesus and ask him to have pity on them. Jesus tells them to go show themselves to the priests, and as they went, they were cleansed. Amazing! But then the story takes an interesting turn. Luke tells us that only one of them came back and thanked Jesus. What happened to the other nine? As I read it, I am almost filled with anger towards these nine. What excuse could they possibly have for not returning and thanking Jesus? Maybe they got busy. Maybe they were so overwhelmed by their newly found freedom that they simply forgot. I’ve heard it said that unexpressed gratitude is ingratitude. While it’s easy to throw shade at these former lepers and criticize them for their ingratitude, I am deeply convicted by how often I slip into a heart posture similar to that of the other nine.
Why is it so hard for us to cultivate a heart of gratitude? I think in large part it’s because, just as Paul mentioned when describing our broken world, the gravitational pull of a broken world doesn’t promote godliness and gratitude. If the current of culture is pulling us in a direction we don’t want to go, we must consciously and intentionally swim upstream to cultivate gratitude. All you have to do to become ungrateful is…nothing. I want us to become aware of a few of the ways in which we might be subconsciously cultivating an ungrateful heart. We can train our hearts and our minds to put a mental red flag up when we see these things happening, and to swim upstream towards gratitude instead.
Here are four easy ways to subconsciously cultivate an ungrateful heart:
1. Constantly compare yourselves to others
It is impossible to have a grateful heart when your heart is being compressed by the squeeze of comparison. At best, you are exhausted from trying to stay ahead of somebody else. At worst, you are discouraged by the impossible task of keeping up with those who seem to be doing better than you. I’m convinced that we can be good at a lot of things, but we will never be good at being someone else. We have to come to a place where we realize that someone else’s success doesn’t threaten our own. A good test to see how your heart is doing here is to ask yourself if you are able to genuinely celebrate when those around you succeed. When we cease comparing ourselves to any and everyone else, our hearts will begin to beat with gratitude again.
2. Cultivate a love for comfort
We see the danger of a love for comfort on display in a man named Demas in the Scriptures. Demas was one of Paul’s guys and got to be a part of some amazing ministry. And yet in 2 Timothy 4:10, Paul tells Timothy that Demas deserted him because he loved this present world. To fall in love with the things of the world is to surrender to the current of this world. If comfort is our goal, gratitude won’t be in our posture.
3. Embrace a spirit of entitlement
We are an entitled people. I don’t like the way it sounds either, but I do think it’s true. Some have labeled my generation “the entitled generation.” Entitlement stems from an elevated view of self. When our views of ourselves become inflated, we begin to think we deserve things. We become proud. And proud people are never grateful people. It’s impossible to be grateful for what we feel entitled to. Bonhoeffer said, “In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.” Paul says in Romans 11, “Who has ever given to God that God should repay him?” God doesn’t owe us anything. When we understand that we will see and be grateful for his grace and mercy in giving us all things.
4. Become complacent in your walk with Jesus
Gratitude flows naturally from the heart that is immersed in the gospel. When we walk in obedience with Jesus daily, when we are immersed in His Word, and when we are in community with His people, gospel gratitude becomes the fuel to propel us to swim upstream against the cultural current of ingratitude and instead cultivate a heart that is soft and grateful.
Maybe as you read this article you are aware of an area in your life where you have subconsciously cultivated an ungrateful heart. What a gift that God would show that to you and give you the opportunity to change course. Paul says in Romans 2:4 that it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. I pray that we all would have our eyes open to the gravitational pull of the culture, and yet with gospel gratitude fueling our hearts, we would be able to live with a deep and purposeful sense of gratitude.