How to Start a Conversation About Jesus

“If someone had cancer and they didn’t know they had it but you did, wouldn’t you tell them?” A friend asked me this question rhetorically, referring to the urgent call on the Christian’s life to share the Gospel message with everyone. People are dying physically and spiritually, but they do not know it. We should tell them about the Healer. 

I resonated with the analogy, but something about it seemed too simple, so I tinkered with it. 

• “What if people don’t want to hear about their cancer?” 
• “What if they have already heard about their cancer and they don’t believe it exists?” 
• “What if your conversation ends before you can even mention it to them?” 

These questions identified a frustrating reality: it’s complicated to talk to people about Jesus. 

This is the dilemma for most followers of Jesus. Deep down, you want to share your faith, pass the message along, and see people come to know the love of God, but when it comes time to interact with people who do not know Jesus, you find yourself compromising for casual conversations. If this sounds familiar, I want to help you. I think we need to start by equipping people to ask the right questions, have the right conversations, and share the right news.

In my years of desiring to point people to Jesus, it was not the delivery of the Gospel message that prevented me from sharing it. Instead, my lack of ability to get to the Gospel in conversation prevented me from doing what I wanted to do and saying what I ultimately wanted to say. 

So, I started investigating. I enrolled in a PhD program to figure out what to do with this evangelistic dilemma. While I am far from finished with my research, I am as passionate as ever about turning typical conversations into Jesus conversations. I have learned a few things about what tends to work and what tends to shut people down. Evangelism does not have to be clunky, taboo, or uncomfortable. I believe this because I have seen it.

Evangelism in the 21st-century West is about asking effective questions. 

Without neglecting our responsibility to have an answer for anyone questioning the reason for our faith (1 Peter 3:15), today’s evangelistic conversations will prove most fruitful when guided by questions. Start with questions, continue with questions, tell people about Jesus, then conclude with questions. With that said, here are a few questions you can ask that will help you start Gospel conversations. Consider these as segues that can potentially guide the conversation toward deeper matters casually.

1. “What did you do over the weekend?”

Crazy question, right?! So taboo and controversial. The hope in asking this simple question is that your neighbor, co-worker, family member, or gym buddy will ask you in return about your weekend. To which you can say (sincerely, obviously), “Sunday, I went to church, and it was amazing…” Hear what they say, and then ask them if they would ever be interested in joining you. Follow up with questions, regardless of their answer. Here is a theme you will find from these recommendations: use questions to receive questions.

2. “Are you a reader?”/ ”What are you reading these days?”

This question might be for a particular person, one with whom you are still in the getting-to-know-you stage, but it is effective at guiding conversation toward deeper matters. Follow up with questions like “What made you pick up that book?” If people ask what you’re reading, follow up with what God is teaching you through His Word, His Church, and His chosen instruments. People don’t dedicate hours to books with topics that do not matter to them, so in learning what people are reading, you are learning about what people are treasuring.

3. “Can I pray for you?”

I was getting my hair cut for the tenth time with Susan, the sweet, weathered lady who gives me my quick, cheap trims. I had been looking for openings to share my faith in prior encounters, but the conversation was constantly derailed. I could sense she felt uncomfortable, but finally, a door opened. After asking about her mom, she told me the heartbreaking news that her mother was in hospice and that it would not be long before she would pass away. I listened, told her I was so sorry, and told her I would pray for their family. Susan thanked me and finished my cut. When I stood up, I asked, “Susan, would it be ok if I prayed for you right now?” She said yes. As tears flooded her eyes, I prayed a heartfelt prayer, speaking out the truth about God amid suffering. She wept like she had never heard it. I thanked God for the hope of resurrection and the compassion of Jesus. Always mention Jesus. After praying, she hugged me and listened. The other barbers resumed their work.

Asking if you can pray for someone might catch people off-guard if it’s not preceded with outstanding kindness. For example, my wife and I sometimes ask this question at restaurants after being abnormally kind to the waiter or waitress. We smile, ask for their name, call them by their name, order politely, ask about their day, and then, before the food comes, we might slip out a quick, “Hey, we are about to pray over our meal and we’d love for you to think of one thing for us to pray for, for you. So while you’re away, think of one thing, then come back to us and let us know.” This gives them space to process. Don’t be surprised when they return and share something with you with tears in their eyes. You’ll be a step away from telling them about Jesus.

4. “Do you have a faith?”

Dr. Sam Chan wrote a book titled How to Talk About Jesus (Without Being That Guy). In this work, he writes about the power of this go-to question. While it may be on the more aggressive end of the conversational spectrum, people are quick to answer it with a lot of information! This is a great follow-up question to add to a conversation whenever you mention church, Scripture, or your community. Before asking this question, it may be helpful to begin with descriptive (not opinion-extracting) questions, like, “Did your parents raise you in a particular faith?” or “Did you go to church when you were a kid?” then follow up with more questions or statements like one of Dr. Chan’s favorites: “Wow. Tell me more!”

5. “What do you do in your free time?”

People typically talk about habits when you ask this question. The hope in asking it, however, is twofold. First, it shows the person you are talking to that you care about their life by taking an interest in what they like, and people appreciate people who take an interest. Secondly, it will likely lead them to ask you the same question. If so, this allows you to share how you serve in your church, surround yourself with godly community, or study the Bible alongside others. They may respond uncomfortably to these things but take it as an opportunity to ask if they “have a faith!”

—

Guiding the conversation toward deeper matters is more so a matter of intention than a matter of creativity. 

It is more about making opportunities to guide conversation deeper than waiting for them to arrive. If you want to share your faith and have trouble getting to a place where you can talk about Jesus, faith, Scripture, or spiritual matters, try these questions. Be wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove, and I think you will engage with more people on a deeper level (Matthew 10:16).

Once, I was talking to a guy at church who had a rough and troubled past, running from the Lord. He was only standing in a church because of a guy named Leighton. Leighton had taken a call from this guy the night before, talked to him about his struggle with depression, and then Leighton proceeded to hop in his car, take him to Waffle House, and sit with him in his valley–at 3AM! The next day, as I spoke to this guy, he looked at me and said, “The only reason I am here is because of Leighton.” I couldn’t tell if he meant “here” as in ‘at church’ or “here” as in ‘alive,’ but it didn’t matter; the answer was probably ‘both.’ He said, “He met me at 3AM last night to talk to me, pray with me, and encourage me.” And then he said something I’ll never forget. “Who does that?” he said. And it hit me. That is the question we want people to ask about us.

We want to live such radically compassionate lives that it leads the people around us to ask: “Who does that?” 

At the end of the day, at the end of the questions, and at the end of the Gospel presentation, the most effective way to earn the right to be heard is to point people to Jesus by living like Jesus. If you can lead someone to ask the question about you, “Who does that?” then you are one step closer to providing them with the answer. “Jesus. Jesus does that.”

Sources

Koukl, Gregory. Street Smarts: Using Questions to Answer Christianity’s Toughest Challenges. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2023).

Koukl, Gregory. Tactics: A Game Plan For Discussing Your Christian Convictions. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan). 2019.

Scroggins, Jimmy, and Wright, Steve. Turning Everyday Conversations Into Gospel Conversations. (Brentwood, TN: B&H Publishing Group). 2016.

Chan, Dr. Sam. How to Talk about Jesus (Without Being That Guy): Personal Evangelism in a Skeptical World. (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.) 2020.