Article

How to Practice Peacemaking

Kyle Dunn
Kyle Dunn
5 Mins

Jewelers make treasures from gold, silver, diamonds, and precious gems. Picture the sparkle, shine, and little boxes opened to a gasp. These gifts can be unspeakably beautiful, but that doesn’t mean they are unbreakable.

A piece of jewelry can suffer damage over its life of use by accident or neglect—a stone can become loose, a ring can become misshapen, or a clasp can break. In those instances, does one chuck them in the trash? No, the piece still possesses great value. It just needs careful repair.

Christian relationships may not sparkle, but they are treasures of mutual care, serving together, and shared joy—boxed up in the community of the local church, and sometimes, by accident or neglect, these relationships suffer damage. They need intentional work to repair an offense, mend hurt feelings, or patch up misunderstandings. This is the process of making peace. The damage might be extensive. It might be difficult to see beyond the resentment, pride, raised voices, cold shoulders, gossip, lies, anger, accusation, and stubbornness. Please do not throw the relationship away. Make the repairs, even if the thought of that person makes your pulse increase.

It is natural to feel reluctance around disturbing the hornet’s nest or poking the bear. Making peace is arduous and often tearful work, but the pursuit of peace is important. Disagreement cannot be allowed to become division, because division among believers dishonors Jesus. Division distracts individuals and even entire churches from our Kingdom mission. Division shifts attention from serving each other for the glory of Christ to taking sides and forming camps over nonessential issues. Our King is worthy of our obedience to the command to love each other as he loved us.

All of us, still in the process of sanctification, can occasionally find ourselves sideways with a brother or sister in Christ. Conflict addressed and repaired into peace shows the Gospel at work in the community, while unaddressed church conflict gives the world an untrue picture of the redeemed life, and unchecked enmity models unbiblical behavior for younger believers.

When a wound remains untreated, it festers. Even the word sounds gross. On the outside, the injury presents as inflammation, discoloration, sensitivity, soreness, and pain. On the inside, breakdown and decay take root. When brothers and sisters act like enemies, it affects more than how they outwardly behave when seeing each other. On the inside, good and godly things break down and decay. Pursue peace so that bitterness does not invade and spread, changing you or the culture of your church.

Peace between disagreeing people does not simply materialize over time. Peace is made through intentional effort, using the tools of prayer, patience, thoughtful words, godly sorrow, and repentance.

Christ’s Church needs peacemakers.

Peacemakers take action, flying directly into the storm of a relational mess, seeking resolution. They show courage by going directly to the person with whom the relationship has fractured. If you need to initiate this kind of conversation (not confrontation), consider this opener: “Hi. Something has broken in our relationship. I would like to talk about what I can do to help make things right so that we might find peace with each other.”

Make the first move. Don’t wait for the other person to acknowledge the tension. Love means saying the hard thing. Conflict ignored is a false peace, a status quo of resentment. Own your part of the conflict, apologizing and cleaning up collateral damage if necessary.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 

Romans 14:19

Peacemakers want restoration more than they want to win. They show up with humility and readiness to compromise. Peacemakers wrestle their pride, making it subject to the will of God.

In this, God is glorified as believers forgive each other, applying love to repair a broken relationship.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Romans 12:18

Peacemakers bend toward the other person with unearned kindness—just as God extended grace to us. Jesus called peacemakers “blessed.” (Matthew 5:9 NIV) If you are a peacemaker, congratulations. You are right where God wants you—acting like him.

Most minor miscommunications do not require a peacemaking process. Discern when an offense warrants a conversation, and when the matter is one, you can simply drop. 

If you are in conflict with another Christian over something temporary—anything belonging to this world, let it go and seek peace, for we are not of this world.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 

Colossians 3:15

Jesus has led the way, giving us his example. He is our peace. In Ephesians 2:14-17, Scripture tells how Jesus stepped in to destroy barriers between Jews and Gentiles, making the two groups into one.

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.

Ephesians 2:14-17

Remove hostility, unite groups, make peace, and preach peace. These are Jesus’s ways and vision for repairing our Christian relationships.

Blessed are the peacemakers. 

Blessed are those who see conflict as opportunities for redemption stories, for testimonies of family forgiveness. 

Blessed are those who partner with the Holy Spirit to make broken things beautiful again.

Scripture References

9
Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called children of God.

18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.
14For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility,
15by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace,
16and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.
17He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.
18For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
19Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household,
20built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.
21In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord.
22And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Kyle Dunn
Kyle Dunn
Kyle Dunn serves as Lead Pastor for People of Hope Church—a non-denominational church plant in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. He is a graduate of Baylor University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Kyle and his wife, Stacy, have been married for thirty-four years. They have three wonderful children who are now in their twenties. Kyle enjoys traveling, reading history, bombarding his family with facts about history, and trying new restaurants with Stacy.