Forgive Us As We Forgive

We live in a culture of unforgiveness. We are simmering in resentment around the world. We're reduced to bitterness, hatred, and violence. We love vengeance. We quickly go past, "That hurt my feelings" or "I simply disagree", but instead we tell people they are worthless, and not to be valued as a human. We name-call because it makes us feel better to dehumanize and destroy.

We cannot grip onto bitterness and the gospel at the same time because they are going in opposite directions.

The world knows resentment, we know redemption. We can't embrace the forgiveness of God and then be unforgiving towards others. If you don't forgive, you don't know God. He links those two things, forgiveness and knowing God.

Matthew 18:21-35

Rabbinic teaching states you forgive 3 times and then cut them off. So Peter was being generous by offering 7 times. It was astonishing that Jesus answered that we should forgive 70x7 (or 77, the language is unclear). The point is, you don't keep count.

This passage has three major scenes.

Scene #1: A wicked servant owes his king 10,000 talents.

This is a shocking amount of money, almost incomprehensible. Jesus used the largest number that there was a word for at the time and the largest denomination of money. For context, Josephus said that the taxes for Judea, Idumea, and Samaria would have totaled 600 talents. So, 10,000 talents is an inconceivable debt. As a consequence, the king decides to sell the wicked servant and take the loss. It's impossible for the man to pay it back. The servant cries and begs the king to let him try and repay it. The king took pity on him, exercised compassion, forgave the entire debt, and let him walk free. What kind of king is that gracious? What kind of king would do such a thing? It's the kind of king you want to be under when you mess up.

Scene #2: The forgiven servant sees another servant who owes him money.

He grabs him by the throat, a Roman thing to do to inflict shame, and tries to take him to jail. The servant that owed the money said the exact same thing the forgiven servant said, "have mercy on me and I'll repay you." He owed 100 denarii, or about $12,000 by today's standards. It's a lot, but infinitesimally small compared to the 10,000 forgiven talents. He legitimately could have paid that back, but the forgiven servant had no mercy and still threw him in jail. Not only to jail, but the jail reserved for those that owed over 500 denarii. The indignation outstripped the level of offense. The other servants are horrified and go back and tell the king.

Scene #3: The king hears about it and is furious.

The precedent and understanding were that during hard times if the king shows benevolence, the people show benevolence as well. The forgiven servant's refusal to do it is an insult to the king. The king send the forgiven servant to be tortured in jail. We love this. We want justice. This is right to us, but Jesus flips it around and says, "So my Father will do to you if you don't forgive from your heart." If you don't show grace, you don't know grace. If you are harboring bitterness and resentment, it's because you hold the grace of God as cheap, you don't understand what He forgave you for. Your inability to forgive shows that you don't even know what it is to be forgiven.

Is God saying we have to earn His grace and forgiveness?

No.

If he was, the story would be flipped. A servant would forgive a bunch of people, so then he received forgiveness. That is not the gospel. The gospel is that God's grace came after us while we still opposed Him, but once we surrendered and accepted His grace, it changed how we live. Grace should be flowing out of us. Scripture says to pray "Forgive us as we forgive our debtors". If we don't forgive, He won't forgive us. That's how it works. There's no getting around that.

Colossians 3:12-13, put on forgiveness and love

Ephesians 4:31-32, All the things we get rid of are the things that are normal human emotions. We understand how much Christ forgave and what He did in order to forgive us, it empowers us to forgive others. His forgiveness precedes and undergirds our own. We are most like God when we forgive.

How do we forgive?

1) We acknowledge that there is a legitimate debt owed. In the family of Jesus, forgiveness isn't minimization. That's misunderstood in the world. "It's no big deal" is an effort to shrink the trespass. The world tries to minimize sin, but it builds and leads to resentment. The gospel never calls us to minimize sin. We take it even more seriously because we see what it costs God. A great example of this is Joseph telling his brothers what they did was evil. If someone did something to you that was evil, you don't have to call it anything less than that.

2) But you take that debt and view it through the lens of the Cross. We have to see our lives in light of the King's sacrifice. The King took the debt from the wicked servant. We, too, have disobeyed God in a million ways. The Bible calls it debt and God will bring all of it to light.

When you take the debt in front of the King, you realize...

1) No one gets away with anything.

Forgiveness is letting somebody get away with something and we don't want that to happen. That's not what happens. They will be called on the carpet before God. He does not blow off their wrongdoing. It will be paid for in full. God says "Vengeance is mine, I will repay". God will make the payment due for every wrongdoing ever done. It will either be paid for by that person in Hell or Jesus on the Cross, but no one gets away with anything. Justice will be done by a Holy God; that's what the Cross shows us.

God didn't look at our sin and say, "It wasn't that bad". No, He says that we are so wicked that it cost the payment of Jesus's death on the Cross, the precious blood of the Son of God: we're that bad.

BUT God is so loving that He will offer that forgiveness to us if we accept the payment of the King. When we realize that we and the person who wronged us are both debtors at the feet of a King whose grace we need, it becomes easier to be gracious to them.

Acknowledge the debt, call it what it is, see it through the lens of the Cross, and release it.

2) Forgiveness and Justice are not at odds.

It is right to release someone emotionally and forgive them, but they still have consequences. Because of forgiveness, we don't have to be tied forever to the wrongdoing, we are released.

Because of God's sacrificial love, we come under His grace and it makes us a conduit to pour out forgiveness and grace to others. Hate it too great a burden to bear, but forgiveness breeds mercy. Those who know grace are meant to show it, and we can when we've tasted the grace of the great King.

How do we know we've released it?

Romans 12:9- we resist thoughts of revenge, but when they come up, we put them in the hands of God.

1 Thessalonians 5:15- we don't seek to do them harm.

Proverbs 24:17- we grieve over their calamities.

Matthew 5:44- we pray for them.

Romans 12:18- We seek reconciliation and peace if possible. It's important to note the phrase, "As far as it depends on you". Forgiveness does not mean staying in an unsafe situation. Forgiveness is not the enablement of abuse. Sometimes the most loving thing to do for the person we love is to get away from them and not let them back into our circle. Forgiveness means we don't harbor bitterness.

We can't muster enough grace to forgive, we have to depend on God.