There is, within every man, a deep desire to do what is right, a longing to navigate all of life’s adventures with a clear understanding of what is at stake and the best path forward towards victory. Aboard a vessel thrown among the waves of sin, every man encounters an absence within themselves that can only be filled through the deposit of wisdom. 

Living well, as it turns out, is no easy feat. 

The book of Proverbs enters our lives as a gift, given freely by our Heavenly Father through Solomon, Lemuel, Agur, and the men of Hezekiah. Its pages contain God’s divine wisdom translated through story, illustration, admonishment, and encouragement. Proverbs is, in its way, a map, reaching out to us from 500 years before the likes of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle as if to say, 

“Follow me, and live well.” 

As human beings, not one of us could hope to take hold of that calling to perfection, and so the book before you now is not one of condemnation or judgment. Instead, this collection of ancient Proverbs and current reflections is built to remind you that through the righteous life, sacrifice, and resurrection of Jesus, you have been given the gift of God’s Holy Spirit, by which you may pursue His wisdom perfected. 

The book of Proverbs candidly opens with your reason for being here, a set of explanations of the outcomes that await you if you stay the course and root this wisdom deep in your heart.

You will:

Gain wisdom and instruction for understanding words of insight.
Receive instructions for prudent behavior, a how-to guide for doing what is just and fair.
Learn to give prudence to those who look to you for it.
Learn to listen.
Deepen your ability to understand Proverbs and Parables.

And yet, even with all those promised benefits, Solomon immediately pivots, personifying Wisdom as a woman with a warning. Pay close attention and watch as Lady Wisdom echoes Solomon’s declaration at the start of the book. See how she gets right to the heart of the matter:

How commonly do we as men wait to seek the wisdom of God until something has gone wrong?

“How long will you who are simple love your simple ways?” she asks, warning us that the time to ask for forgiveness and guidance has passed us time and time again.

Our preoccupation with going our own way while things are good is nothing new to Wisdom. She’s seen it billions of times, and the consequences have been dire. Those who do not choose to fear the Lord have been met with silence when “calamity overtakes you like a storm.”

This way of living, where one could find themselves thrashed about by whatever circumstance comes their way, is not the way God desires His sons to live. Today, Wisdom is eagerly pointing us to a life built soundly on the advice of the Lord.

The way forward? Repent of your wandering and ask earnestly for God’s guidance. You are not too far gone, and no mistake is unredeemable through the power of God. Heed Wisdom’s call today, and let today be your first step lit by the lantern of God’s divine wisdom.

Lord, I’m grateful for this wake-up call today. I’m thankful that You are kind enough to remind me to leave my old ways behind. I’m grateful that You invite me to ask for Your thoughts and teachings and that You promise to give them freely. I don’t want to make my way through life confident in Christ but arrogant in my abilities, eventually crumbling under the weight of circumstance. Today, I choose to fear the Lord, to marvel at Your surpassing knowledge, and I ask You to light my path.

How beautiful is it that the second Proverb opens with, “My son.”

It’s a simple reminder that the wisdom we pursue is not cold or distant but instead the familial advice of a loving father. God’s wisdom is divine, and His purpose is perfect. This, of course, cannot always be said about our fathers here on Earth, and that’s ok because through the grace of God, we who have put our faith in Jesus now have access to the kind of instruction that is not always given by fallible men.

Take, for example, “the shortcut.”

There was a time, a time before Google Maps, before Apple Maps drove you into a lake, or before you printed off directions from MapQuest and followed them in reverse to get home. There was a time before all of this when you would hear your dad say the most terrifying words imaginable:

“I know a shortcut.”

The “secret back way,” the “way no one else knows…” every dad seemed to have one, and all of them never quite worked the way they were supposed to.

Directions are like that, though. They can be rendered useful or not based on unpredictable circumstances like traffic or construction.

But not God’s directions.

In Proverbs 2, we see clear directions towards living a life full of knowledge that glorifies God with our choices and protects us from falling into the pits that so easily take us off course. Here God implores us to take total stock of the people we have allowed to speak direction over our lives. Have we handed over the steering wheel to anyone who does not have God’s intention at heart? Have we surrendered the wayfinding of our days to men or women whose end goals are their own objectives?

God’s gift to us is the understanding of right and wrong that we will need to walk justly before Him and to turn away from those who would try to distract us. Have we heeded the warnings that gift has thrown our way about certain relationships? Have we paid attention to the small voice of wisdom longing to guide us towards a Spirit-led life? As Jesus-followers, we are called to be light in the lives of people who are wandering, but there is a difference between walking alongside someone and letting them lead the way.

Thank God that He freely gives us this wisdom. Because of Him, we are not left to wander through life trusting in our ability to make the right decisions. God will lead us every day.

Lord, today I humble myself before You. You say that You will give wisdom if I ask for it, so I ask for it now. I need Your understanding every day. Please help me to see where You want me to go, the choices You want me to make, and protect my way that I might be found faithful.

What is the end goal of this exercise? Why put in the time to read these Proverbs, reflect on them, and share those reflections with other men in your life? Let’s look at what God is offering for His sons if we keep His teachings close, and heed his Words:

“Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and men.”

A good name in the sight of God… what could be more beautiful? When each of us and all that we own is destined to return to dust, what could be more important than the quality of our name in standing with God?

And so, with our goal in mind, how do we achieve it? How do we move through life, learning from our mistakes and becoming more and more like the One we seek to honor?

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.”
Proverbs 3:11-12

Discipline. There may not be a word that evokes a wider variety of responses based on our individual experiences with it.

For some of us, just reading the words sends a shiver down our spine. For others, it elicits that feeling in your stomach that comes with shame, and still, others of us reflect on our own experience as the giverof discipline now that we are working to raise children of our own. Most, if not all, of the varying reactions to the word discipline, can be traced back to the actions of an authority figure in our lives: a parent, a teacher, a mentor—someone who proved to us that discipline was a punishment reserved for mistakes or an empty threat to be ignored.

But not with God.

God is our perfect Father. He is not swayed to emotional outbursts or responses born out of revenge, selfishness, or exhaustion. His discipline is a result of His Love and Holiness. He created you, and He loves you, and because of that, He won’t settle for you making the kind of mistakes that would separate you from Him.

Proverbs 3 illuminates this graciousness of God’s character. Look at how enamored God is with you as His son, how He longs for you to soak up all of the wisdom He is offering. Your heavenly Father knows that gaining that understanding is the way towards the life He is showing you, one that far surpasses anything you could create for yourself. His hand of discipline is always there, leading you back towards this life when you stray. Thank God that it is.

Lord, thank You for Your discipline. Please help me to say that daily and to mean it. Teach me to see the pathways I have chosen to walk that lead me away from You and to find joy in Your hand guiding me back. Teach me the lessons of wisdom from these wanderings, that I may see them coming in the future and choose the God-path instead.

Four days into the book of Proverbs and we are starting to see how clear a picture Solomon is trying to paint us. There is almost nothing more worthwhile in this world than the pursuit of wisdom. Wisdom protects us from the attacks of the enemy; it guides us away from the schemes of men and leads us to the place where righteousness and holiness are found. Simply said, wisdom is the key to a fruitful and purposeful life.

So, how do we start? What is the first step down this beautiful path that we all desire? Again, Solomon resorts to brevity to drive his point home.

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.

That’s it. If you long for wisdom, then begin accumulating it. Are you frustrated by his answer? Don’t be; there are steps to take, namely one. Look at these first four Proverbs, at how often we are commanded to LISTEN. See how we are told that the Lord gives us wisdom FREELY. Each command promises that if we pay attention to the Lord, the understanding will be there for our benefit.

It’s simple; save one question.

What are you willing to sacrifice to obey that command?

We live in a time where almost anything you need, you can buy and have shipped to your house in less than seven days. The idea of sacrificing one thing to gain another is almost foreign to us. And now more than ever, we give our attention away at an unprecedented rate and dangerously cheap. Our heads are turned by every tweet, every headline, each voice clambering to be just a bit louder than the one before. But are they leading us to wisdom?

Are you willing to sacrifice the fraudulent voices of pleasure in order to hear from God?

Choosing to tune them out and wholly listen to God is not a passive action, for the Lord has made one thing evident in these first four Proverbs: Wisdom comes only from His mouth and His mouth alone.

So, are you willing to pay the cost asked of you to hear Him? Are you up to the challenge to lay aside the things you would rather hear, the things that line up with your opinions or your desires? Are you willing to trade something that might sound good for the things of God that are best?

Lord, tune my ears to what You have for me. Help me set aside the “wisdom” the world is peddling and subscribe wholeheartedly to focusing my attention on Your Word and Your Holy Spirit.

It felt like quicksand would be a bigger problem in day-to-day life. 

Everything from movies, to books, to school, made it seem like the knowledge to keep still and wait for help rather than thrashing around in a pit of sinking sand was going to come in handy a few times a year. We can’t account for everyone reading this, but at least around here, we have yet to put this valuable survival skill into practice.

Interestingly, though, while we seemed to have all been trained at one point or another in escaping a slow and gritty demise, very few of us could identify quicksand if we stumbled upon it. All these years later, we have to ask, wouldn’t teaching us to avoid it be just as important as escaping it?

In the first four Proverbs, we were introduced to wisdom personified through Lady Wisdom, a walking, talking, personification of the beauty and guidance God offers us through His freely available understanding. Proverbs 5 introduces a new character in the story. Foolishness arrives on the scene, coupled with a warning: Keep a path far from her.

You see, Foolishness is out to destroy you. Like the enemy, she is constantly on the prowl working to seduce you away from the things of God, from Wisdom, and much like the quicksand traps of our cinematic childhood, you can get stuck before you even know it.

Look at verses 8-9, a dire warning against any proximity to this adulterous woman. Just wandering close to her door due to curiosity or intrigue can cause you to forsake your dignity and lose all that God has meant for you.

The lie is that we can dip our toes into ruin and somehow stop ourselves from drowning in it. 

Avoiding the quicksand of temptation is critical. It requires us to walk with our eyes up and to be attentive to what is happening around us, lest a lack of discipline leads us down the path of destruction.

If you find yourself at the door of Foolishness today, remember back to Proverbs one and rejoice. Let today be a reminder to turn from that wicked door and run towards Wisdom. All God is asking of you is to repent, acknowledge your sin, and ask forgiveness, and then He will pour out His blessed thoughts upon you and make His ways your ways. The cost is too great to wait lest you walk even one more step towards the snares of wickedness.

—

Lord, today we remember the times we have grown curious of sin and wandered close to the door of temptation, of the times we walked through that door. We ask for Your forgiveness and purification that Your thoughts and ways would transform our own.

The Sixth Proverb has a lot going on. There are warnings against taking on a friend’s debt, what to do if such debt traps you, a few words on the value of hard work, and the dangers of laziness. Proverbs Six also contains:

• A list of seven things the Lord hates.
• The destiny of a wicked man.
• An alarm against adultery.

So, where do we even start? What throughline connects all of the wisdom presented to us by Solomon?

Let’s look at verses 20-24:

My son, keep your Father’s command

    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

Bind them always on your heart;

    fasten them around your neck.

When you walk, they will guide you;

    when you sleep, they will watch over you;

    when you awake, they will speak to you.

For this command is a lamp,

    this teaching is a light,

and correction and instruction

    are the way to life,

keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,

    from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.

While this section of Scripture focuses on Solomon’s warning against adultery, there is a field guide tucked in here to help you avoid the rest of the snares listed in the text. Back in Proverbs Four, we counted all of the times we had already been instructed to LISTEN, and now we realize the importance of keeping what we have heard at the forefront of our minds. How do we avoid falling into the trap of debt? How do we climb our way out of such a misguided trap once we’ve fallen in? How do we internalize the discipline of hard work and fight against the natural urge to give in to laziness? How do we move through life without succumbing to the temptations that would lead us to the seven things the Lord hates? How do we even elude the seduction of sexual sin?

The answer is the same across the board.

We keep the teachings that have been handed down close and let them illuminate the paths we choose of correction and instruction. You may not have grown up in a home where God’s Word was taught, you may not have even had a parent who taught you to live morally, but here’s the good news: in your hands right now is all the wisdom your Heavenly Father wants to impart on you to live a whole and honorable life. Pay careful attention to it, and don’t be persuaded to give even a fraction of it away. Solomon says it this way,

“Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?”

Sins like adultery, lying, pride, wickedness, scheming, fomenting conflict, and violence are too costly to leave unattended. Their danger requires a prompt response when we realize we have given in to our sinful nature.

Whichever section of Proverbs Six lands heaviest on your heart today, pay attention to that and thank God that He has met you once again right where you need Him most. Heed His wisdom today, and ask His help to make the necessary changes, admissions, and amends as your heart becomes more and more like your Heavenly Father’s.

Lord God, thank You. Thank You that You have not left me on my own to live a life according to my desires and decisions. Thank You for once again pouring Your wisdom out freely like You said You would. You know the ways I run from You the most. Help me to see those traps before I find myself in them, and by Your power, to avoid them.

Are you paying attention?

Perhaps the question is familiar. Maybe you’re prone to daydreaming or even zoning out in the middle of a conversation. A lapse in focus can usually be harmless, but in the wrong circumstance, even a momentary failure to see what is happening can be disastrous.

The ‘woman’ pictured in Proverbs 7 represents the temptation of lust which, of course, manifests itself in more than just adultery. Solomon mentions the roaming adulteress because it was most likely the taboo, relatable example of the day. In our day, you will most likely find this temptation luring online or through a co-worker before you’d ever come across a modern-day Delilah.

The author, in poetic fashion, describes the process of pursuing what is initially enticing as a lethal trap. It may be why, later on in Scripture, the author of James writes, “but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.” (Jas. 1:14-16).

Translation: sin, especially sexual sin, feels exciting to our flesh at the outset and can be overpowering if we are not focused on its eventual result: death.

Ben Stuart calls it “paddling downstream.” If you are at the outset of sexual sin, the place where you can feel the temptation gaining ground in your mind, allow your mind to take you past the momentary pleasure to the eventual outcome. There, you’ll see the shame and guilt that we’ve all experienced after such a lapse in judgment. When you do, you can harness that realization to stop you from giving in to the temptation in the first place.

Healthy desires may lead you to fantasize, but each of us has to be on guard against allowing that fantasy to lead us to do something we will regret. While they are alluring and convincing, there is only shame and frustration after the fact.

So often, we have been told that sexual sin is unavoidable as men, but that is not the way of God. Equip yourself by memorizing His truth, surrounding yourself with godly men, and preparing yourself in advance. The best defense, in this case, is an offense. If you are on His path, you will not be on sin’s path. Live so aggressively for the Kingdom that your defenses never take a hit. Do not let your heart turn to ‘her ways.’ Notice that it is a matter of allowing and that the ways are plural. There is more than one way to destruction, but they all begin with the belief in the lie, “It’s worth it.”

—

Father, keep us from the path that leads to death. Use the men in our lives to keep us on course. Use Your Word to remind us of what is good. And may we be so intensely passionate about Your mission that we see worldly pleasures as trivial and sin as an undesirable distraction. Amen.

Written in 1883 by Emma Lazarus, the poem, “The New Colossus,” was once memorized by schoolchildren across the United States. Not unlike the Gettysburg address, boys and girls would stand and recite the famous Statue of Liberty’s poem until at least the final stanza made its way into the cultural zeitgeist of America:

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Like the original colossus before her, the Statue of Liberty has towered as a declaration of welcome, a larger-than-life symbol that what you were about to enter was different than what you previously knew.

Proverbs 8 tells a similar story, one of Wisdom’s position at the entrance to a city with a message to convey. But while the Colossus at Rhodes and the Statue of Liberty were imagined with human minds and constructed with human hands, Lady Wisdom’s beginning is of a much more ancient origin, brought forth by much more powerful hands.

Why does this matter to us? Why does Solomon transition immediately from warning us about the disadvantages of sexual sin into the tremendous, divine history of Wisdom? Perhaps it is because we are fickle creatures, too easily swayed by the allure of the new and now. We fall in love easily and out even more quickly. We know it, and God certainly knows it. Our attention must then be called entirely to something far more ever-lasting than ourselves.

The Colossus at Rhodes was a marvel of the world and yet only stood for 54 years. The Statue of Liberty has only endured for 135 years. Wisdom was brought forth by the Lord as one of His first works, formed before the creation of the watery depths that would eventually take shape and become the Earth. She was there before the mountains settled and before the hills emerged. She was before we were, constantly at God’s side, rejoicing in His presence and eventually delighting in His creation, Humanity.

No human mind imagined this Wisdom who is calling out to us today, and she certainly was not created by human hands.

So when you read her words today, when the ancient path to a God-fearing and prosperous life is laid out in front of you on the page, heed her call. Rejoice that God is sharing this eternity-old wisdom with you freely, that he is doting on you as a devoted Father who wants nothing more than to bless His child.

—

Lord God, Ancient of Days, thank You. Thank You that You see me, know me, and still love me so thoroughly that You are giving me the wisdom to live a life worthy of being called Yours. I bless Your Name, God, You who deserve all my affection and attention. Please return my eyes to You and my feet to Your path when I am prone to wander. Help me to turn away from the cries for attention thrown by the wind of a desperate and dying world. 

Life is full of prerequisites. Before you can drive a car, you have to have a driver’s license. Before you can have a driver’s license, you have to pass a driving test. Before taking your driving test, you have to reach a certain age.

There is a consistent theme through the book of Proverbs, found here in Proverbs 9: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, with the Hebrew word תְּחִלָּה translating to “beginning,” or “first.”

The prerequisite for wisdom is the fear of the Lord. 

When was the last time you sat in awe of something? It doesn’t happen often. We travel thousands of miles in soaring metal tubes and talk to one another instantly no matter how great the distance, and we easily take these things for granted. Perhaps it’s easier to discover awe standing atop the Grand Canyon, or at the base of a mountain, or even in the center of Times Square for the first time, but how quickly does even that sensation become average?

We need to reclaim that feeling of wonder. To be entirely overcome by how small you are compared to the mighty thing before you. This feeling is as close a translation to what Proverbs calls “fear.”

So, let’s drill down on this. What does it look like for the foundation of your life to be the fear of the Lord? 

It means your first thought in the morning is of God. “I am standing in awe of the Lord of Hosts.“

It means that when you face something difficult, you marvel that on your side is the Rock of Ages.

It means seeing the people around you as woven creations, formed by the same Maker who knit the fabric of time.

Once our lives are rooted in this fear of the Lord, then we’ve met the prerequisite for wisdom because it colors everything. 

• How would carrying this wonder affect your decision-making?
• How would being grounded in the Word affect your thoughts?
• How actively would you then pursue peace?
• How quickly would you exchange your selfish ways for the generous ways of God?

Consider these questions, and ask God to reveal to you where you have lost the sense of awe and wonder that being in a relationship with Him should bring.

—

God, I struggle to express the feeling it is to be in Your presence with words. Thank You that You give me an eternity to try. I humbly praise You for how You are in the big picture and the details. Give me eyes to see how You’re working and the perspective needed to realize the gift it is to be woven into Your story and be a piece of Your creation. Help me today to catch the wonder and awe of You. Amen. 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

What a joke.  

Words matter.

Since the beginning, they have been the tools by which the Great Designer sculpted the Universe and the mechanism by which the deceiver divided creation from Creator. Throughout human history, words have cemented promises of peace and cast entire nations into conflict. It is our words that remain long after we are dust, echoing in the promise and pain we leave behind.

Words matter. 

As our tenth set of Proverbs pivots away from the history of Wisdom herself, its focus settles securely on the personal responsibility we carry daily. After all, what use is it to gain wisdom but hide it from our actions?

Sixteen times in the NIV translation of Proverbs 10, the writer drives the point home, and he will continue to do so for the remainder of the book, explicitly stating in Proverbs 18:

“The Tongue has the power of life and death…”

Think back on your own life. Go as far back or as recently as you want. How many times has the impetus of either a personal celebration or disappointment been the words of another? How often was it something you chose to say that you wish you hadn’t? Examine the conflict in your family or at work. How did words play a part in defusing the situation or blowing it up to an unmanageable state?

The truth is found repeatedly in the text of Proverbs 10; you can bring honor or ruin to yourself and the people around you through your words. 

Perhaps this feels too much, that if you have that kind of power in your mouth, there is far too great a responsibility on you—one you could never hold up. If that thought has occurred to you, you are both correct and fortunate, for there is good news. Look at how Proverbs 10 ends with a promise.

“From the mouth of righteous comes the fruit of wisdom…”

That word “comes,” נוּב can translate to “bringeth forth” – literally, “germinates” as like a plant. You have spent the last nine days asking God for the wisdom to live a life that honors Him, wisdom that He says He will freely give to you. You are investing in a God-fearing life, and that investment brings change to every part of your life, including your words. Thank God for His wisdom today, for His gift. Begin to be patient and particular with your language, inviting the Holy One into even the smallest of comments, and watch how you and the world around you begin to flourish with new life.

—

God, bless my words today. Help me build others up and not tear them down as I speak. You gave me great power, and I want to honor you with it. Thank You for Your Word that stands infallible. I pray that I would know Your Word, and that it would flow as I engage others. Thank You for the honor it is to be Your child. Amen.

“As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself. Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.”

-Nelson Mandela

Integrity is an attractive attribute. Most of us hold on to the definition that insinuates a moral commitment, or strength of character that one either has or does not, a kind of pure determination to do what is right and just no matter the circumstance. Integrity at that point becomes an ingrained attribute, one either genetically passed on or instilled through teaching.

There is a second definition that is usually reserved for the description of a vessel or territory, one that lists integrity as a state of being whole and undivided. Taken to its most absolute conclusion, this idea yields a troubling finding for men who daily fall short of perfection: a thing may lose its integrity if a piece of it is removed.

However, this is not news to those of us journeying through the Proverbs.

We recognize that complete and unbroken faithfulness to the wisdom and ways of God is something we have all forsaken at times, handed over for less valuable conquests, which in time returned nothing but emptiness.

Proverbs 11 addresses this issue head-on and presents us with an opportunity to dig deeper and discover the trustworthy source of integrity we can return to daily. 

Notice how often in the text Solomon draws a direct line from the righteous to their hope, between those who find favor and the source of that blessing. Similarly, he points out the causes of destruction people bring upon themselves. Integrity has a source, and so does ruin.

We have all had moments where we stood among difficulty and held firm, and we have all given in to the temptation to grab what was easy and immoral. The beauty of Proverbs 11 is that integrity ceases to be about our ability to grit our teeth and fend off the urges of sin by our strength.

Remember 2 Corinthians 5:21:

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

Through Christ’s sacrifice, we have become the very righteousness of God, and it is that righteousness that delivers us from the attacks of the enemy and completes within us a state of integrity so long as we depend on Him. Break that connection, pursue wealth and power through unjust ways, put your hope in riches, or give in to perversions of the flesh, and the integrity is broken. Thank God then that we have a Savior who restores us and makes all things new.

Examine your own life. Where have you surrendered the complete integrity of wisdom to claim an easier prize? Where have you given in when tempted by lesser rewards? Forgiveness is waiting in repentance, and the path towards a righteous life is before you.

—

God, I praise You for Your sacrifice. I fully acknowledge my brokenness and the reality that alone, I stand no chance of being good enough to stand before You. But, Jesus. Because of Him, I am allowed to turn from my sinful ways and live a life according to Your calling. I pray for You to break my heart for what breaks Yours. Reveal the things within me that are not of You and help me shed them off. I want to live a life of purity and integrity, in fullness, the way You created. Amen. 

In 1990, the Survey Center on American Life asked over two thousand men to report their number of close friends, not counting relatives. In that study, 40% answered that they had ten or more. Fast forward to 2021, and the percentage of men answering the same question with the same answer is down to 15%. The number responding that they had five close friends is down from 68% to 40%, and the group answering that they have no close friends has increased from 3% to 15%.

By and large, the number of lonely men in the world today is increasing, and here’s the danger in that: living a life pleasing to God and abiding by His wisdom is not a solo venture.

Proverbs 12 pays special attention to the qualities of a man, which result in the favor of the Lord and a prudent life. For 11 Proverbs, we’ve turned these qualities inwards, a mirror against which we can view our own lives to measure them truly. And yet…

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

-African Proverb

As men dedicated to living a life that not only starts well but finishes well, longevity can be a daunting or impossible task. Who could stand the test of time? How many men who stood for Godliness eventually succumb to the ways of living that Proverbs describes as clearly leading to demise? Research enough of these tragedies, or experience them yourself, and here is what you will find: lonely men, lacking Christ-centered community, are likely targets for deceit.

The truth is this: friendships can be challenging to establish and hard to maintain. They require vulnerability and a willingness to be honest about your needs, desires, and worries. The level of intimacy necessary to spur one another on in faithful pursuit of a wisdom-filled life is even more so. Perhaps that’s why Solomon warns us to choose our friends carefully at the end of Proverbs 12.

What would your response to that survey mentioned earlier be? If you answered ten or more, can you use Proverbs 12 as a checklist and know that the men you surround yourself with are leading you towards a God-honoring life? Are there relationships you need to adjust? This can be a difficult task, but remember that those men will play a massive part in shaping the direction of your days.

If your answer is less than five, or even zero, take heart. Knowing the importance of this kind of community can be the first step towards forming it. Who in your world can you begin to cultivate a Jesus-centered friendship with? Who are you reaching out to weekly? Who are you praying for daily? This is the heartbeat of what we call Fight Clubs at Passion City Church. It’s where a small group of men walk alongside each other and help each other live lives after God’s own heart. Ask God to lead you to this kind of community, and be open to the men He wants to bring into your life. The friendships we need most aren’t always the ones we see coming.

—

Father, lead me toward lasting, sharpening friendships. Surround me with men who love You so that I might be a godly influence to those who don’t. Use the men in my life to keep me on Your path. Amen.

Scripture is a guide to life. Because it lays out God’s intended design for His creation, it is a field guide on how we can live our best life. In turn, the more we live our lives in a way that corresponds to Scripture, the more fulfilling our lives will be.

There is no promise of an easier life, as followers of Jesus, nor a safer or more affluent life, but we do live a better life. The best life lived matches up with God’s design for human flourishing. Here’s the tension many of us feel; that flourishing may be vastly different than what we often have in mind. For example, ‘blessed,’ in God’s economy, means rich relationship. It means living purposefully. It means a wealth of resources in Heaven.

Proverbs 13 teaches us that righteousness generally results in satisfaction and fruitfulness, while wickedness results in want and hurt. Deep down, we know this is true. We have seen plenty of prideful people progress toward their fall; we’ve witnessed the Proverb’s accuracy play out in devastating ways, and yet how quickly we can be convinced to forget it.

In the moment of temptation, a gentle whisper sneaks a thought into our minds, 

“Surely, this won’t be true for me.”

When the opportunity to live against our design arises, we cease to think long-term. When we lie, we believe that momentarily the truth will stay hidden. When we cheat, we imagine no one will notice the cut corner. When we wrongfully sexually fantasize, we think that, as long as it’s not publicized, it will not hurt anyone.

We love to believe good actions will bring good consequences, but we convince ourselves that the opposite truth will not apply.

Men, God has our best in mind. We can strive constantly, but contentment cannot be found in a particular income, job, or person. A life immersed in and corresponding to design is the only complete life. What is your design? That you live in a relationship with God through the work of His Son, Jesus, according to the wisdom we have been studying. It keeps others’ current and eternal well-being in mind; it is a life lived on purpose, for the glorification of God, and not yourself.

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40 NIV

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Father, I believe that Your design for my life leads to blessing in the most crucial moments. I want to be content in my circumstance, not constantly striving to find myself in a different one. I long to live how I am supposed to live so that I will be a student of Your Word. Thank You for revealing the secrets to human flourishing to us. Thank You that a life lived following You is a blessed life. Amen.

“But it is better to learn wisdom late than never learn it at all.”

-Sherlock Holmes

The great detectives of literature all have one thing in common, one attribute that unites them as they move from mystery to mystery, from the theft of magnificent jewels to murders on a snow-capped train. These men and women parse out what is critical from what is conjecture. Their keen sense of focus informs their reasoning, and their reason informs their deduction.

Not so much with us. How often do you find yourself wrapped up in the wrong point of a story? Or how easy is it for you to become fixated on the tiniest detail of an undertaking, only to find yourself blowing by the main thrust of the whole endeavor?

Put another way, how many times do you end up at Home Depot per project?

These great sleuths that we spent our childhoods admiring had a method of evaluating a problem and coming to the proper conclusion. But here’s the caveat: they aren’t real people. We who are living and moving through real life have a reality we need to face about our ability to reason.

“There is a way that seems right to a man, 

but its end is the way to death.”

Our method of evaluation may be and usually is faulty. What is wrong may seem right, and the pathways leading to death are typically illuminated by crooked lights designed to entice your soul.

This is a truth all people acknowledge to some extent. If a person shows any discipline whatsoever, they see the truth in this Proverb.

Thinking of ‘right’ as ‘preferred’ helps to reveal the relatability behind this teaching. It is preferable to avoid exercise, but that way’s end is an unhealthy lifestyle. Getting revenge is preferable, but that way’s end is more troublesome. It is preferable to ignore yard work, but that way’s end is more work. It is preferable to flee from loving people selflessly, but that ends with broken relationships. Our method for evaluation is flawed.

Our natural senses cannot be trusted; we need a guide.

Thankfully, a guide is present in the book of Proverbs and the Scriptures as a whole. God lays out the best way to live life, which corresponds to His design for human flourishing. The more we live our lives in a way that matches this design, the better our lives are.

The ‘way’ that seems right may not only be misleading but so misleading that it goes entirely against God’s way. The ‘flesh’ is mentioned in Scripture (Rom. 8) and is probably best described by Dr. Victor Anderson of Dallas Theological Seminary as “A package of desires that goes against God’s design.” The flesh is present, working in our minds, as long as we are in our unrestored, earthly bodies. And it will, so long as we are alive, lead us away from God. This ‘way’ seems fitting because the flesh is convincing, but the ‘end’ is the way that leads to death.

The solution to the problem is a guide, someone whose senses can be trusted and whose wisdom is unimpeachable. Thankfully, we follow a Savior who is ‘The Truth.’ His Word and His way are reliable and trustworthy. How often do you immerse yourself in the Scriptures and work to emulate the behavior of Jesus? How has studying Proverbs changed the way you face intersections in your life? What are the areas of life that trigger your impulsiveness? Ask God to continue to reveal these areas and meet you in those moments with His wisdom.

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Father, my feelings and inclinations have led me down the wrong path countless times. I need Your truth to inform my decisions. Please help me understand my blind spots and lead me back to Your Word when I face temptation and decisions. Amen.

Imagine it… you’re on hold. You’ve been on hold. You’ve been on hold before this hold after you pushed all the buttons to get through the automated directory…

Then someone answers.

Who do they meet when they do? What kind of language do they hear coming over the phone? How do you feel when that conversation ends?

Our days are full of interpersonal interactions. At home, at work, over the phone and in person, over text messages, and on social media, we build our public-facing résumés day in and day out through the way we speak to other people… and God sees it all.

Proverbs 15 is a resounding commentary on how we as Christians should carry ourselves through these interactions. Over and over again, Solomon makes clear how seriously the Lord considers the direction of our hearts and the holiness of our dialogue. This section of Scripture should land heavily on all of us. No one carries themselves perfectly when it comes to the words that come out of our mouths. We all fall short in this area. We are prone to gossip, judge, stir up controversy, and compare ourselves to others. We mock, we taunt, we condemn, and we slander.

God sees it all, and the World listens. 

A mark of the godly person is their wisdom in considering their words, not only when one is treated fairly but all the more so when one is mistreated. But, man is notorious for doing the opposite. We sputter and spew language freely, often offensively and without much thought.

If we are going to be men on mission for God, ambassadors of His reconciliation here on Earth, this cannot be overlooked. We cannot be Christians who profess our love for God with our mouths and then turn and “gush evil” with those same mouths (or thumbs).

So what guidance can we glean for how we are supposed to act when that natural desire towards rage or anger rises in us?

The Hebrew word, ‘rahd,’ describes a child in the Scriptures. While the term ‘soft’ is used in many translations, it can be reasonably translated as ‘gentle’ or ‘mild,’ which gives readers the idea of how a person should speak in a tense moment of conflict. It is as if the author is encouraging readers to have the patience they would have toward a child, toward all people.

Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. You have been given these gifts through the Holy Spirit. Ask God for the wisdom to use them, to let them change the way you act and the way you speak. As you do, watch as the world around you sees Jesus through the way you live.

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God, You show us Your character in the person of Jesus. He never lashed out, misspoke, or poured out evil words, even though He was mistreated and wrongfully accused. If wisdom looks like patience in moments of conflict, then I desire this kind of patience. Remind me of the diffusing power of a kind-hearted answer in the tensest of situations. Please remind me of this priceless wisdom when I feel tempted to lash out, be sarcastic, or hurl insults. Amen

Sixteen days into a book for men, we’re just now focusing on work. Perhaps there is something to that. Long before you can ever truly be effective in your job, you need to set your heart into a posture that honors God, ask Him to repair the broken relationships in your life, change the way you speak, and hone your attention on His glory instead of your own.

We were all designed to work. From Adam’s hands to yours, all of us were intended to cultivate, curate, and create in some form or fashion. Your work is important to God. He cares about what you are doing, how you do it, and most importantly, why you are doing it.

Proverbs 16 begins with a promise that, should you do your work for the glory of God, your plans will be “established.” 

This word – in Hebrew, ‘galal’ – is used to describe how the moon was set in place by God or how a tree is firmly rooted into the ground beneath it. How reaffirming is that imagery?! If you live your life with the mission statement: “My work is for God, not for man,” your welfare and functioning will be as consistent as the moon’s reliability and as steady as a firmly rooted tree.

As with all of Scripture, this is not a guarantee that your life will be without setback or difficulty, but it is a promise that God will be with you when the struggles come.

Proverbs 16 is a beautiful reminder that our work and plans are only sacred when we commit them to the Lord. Solomon tells us that the Lord is the only one who can work everything out to its proper end. He encourages us that the Lord can take pleasure in the way we go about our lives and warns us against allowing our pride to fool us into taking matters into our own hands.

It’s that feeling of trying to work your way into a conversation that wasn’t for you or sacrificing a bit of integrity so that you can position yourself where God has not. It’s taking the easy way out of a difficult conversation, going along with gossip or slander, cheating, stealing, or lying.

“Better is a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”

Do your best not to confuse your calling with your current assignment. You were made to honor and glorify God; that is the calling on your life. You do this every day through your thoughts, your actions, how you treat others, and even how you work. Whether it is your dream job or a temp job, your current assignment is an opportunity to live out that calling. Whatever you have been given today, do it to the best of your abilities and let God work out what comes next.

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God, You know better than I do just what I desire. I may think it is one thing, but Your knowledge of me is so deep that You can provide what I am truly after. Help my ambitions to correspond with Yours so that I might be genuinely content. I commit my work to You today so that we might walk in step. I work for You, not for man. Amen.

Time after time in the Old Testament, “testing” is likened to the refinement of precious metals, the extracting of impurities through intense heat. Here in Proverbs 17, Solomon makes a note that just as with silver or gold, our human hearts also need to be, and will be, tested by the Lord.

Heat, pressure, hammer, and fire were and still can be the tools used to separate the pure, refined metal from the cloud of dross that would otherwise dirty the precious metals, making them not only weaker than their perfect counterparts but considerably less valuable. No one batted an eye at this process, and no one asked themselves if it was worth all of the trouble.

Refinement was necessary. Testing was critical. 

Remember back to Proverbs 12:1 for a moment; Solomon went straight to the heart:

“Whoever loves disciple loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.”

Sanctification is a word that you may hear around Jesus followers. It can be defined literally as “the action or process of being freed from sin or purified.” In other words, as you pursue Jesus in your life, He will make you more and more like Him. The impurities, the dross in your own life, has to be taken away so that you can more clearly reflect the heart and character of God to the world around you.

To be more like Jesus is an outcome we all desire. It’s something we pray for and sing about. It’s at the heart of most messages we listen to, and it’s scrawled across the pages of our journals. Jesus, we want to be more like you.

And yet…

Are we willing to go through the process? Are we willing to endure the refinement and embrace the testing? 

Reading the rest of Proverbs 17 plays out like an either/or list, a series of blessings or follies that result from our obedience or obstinance in the face of rebuke and refinement. When someone approaches you with a wise word of counsel, if a trusted leader has a rebuke, or if a friend has the courage to approach you with a concern, do you listen? Are you willing to pray about their comment and see if God is trying to work something out in your character through it? This is not easy; it is at times a crucible, but if we surround ourselves with godly men who have permission to speak into our lives, we need to be open and welcoming to what God might say through them.

Show yourself grace today. Don’t beat yourself up for the times you have failed at this in the past. You have the opportunity right now to invite this kind of wisdom and feedback from a few trusted men. Pray about who they are in your life, and then reach out. Let Jesus use them to make you look more and more like Him, and in time He may use you to do the same in someone else’s life.

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God, I acknowledge my imperfections. As a sinful creation, there are foreign pieces within my soul. These impurities keep me from the fullness You have created me for, so I ask that You help me get rid of them. Help me to shed the things that I don’t even recognize are there. Help me find others who are willing to help in that process, and help me to have the courage to let them in and see the mess. I desire to be more like You. Amen.

You don’t have to live very long in this world to figure out that life comes pre-packed with storms… health challenges, broken relationships, careers derailed, financial hardship, grief, loss. Sometimes, it seems like life is stacked against us. Where do we turn in seasons like these? The answer, repeatedly, is God.

God is our refuge and strength,

    an ever-present help in trouble.

Psalm 46:1

Some may read today’s passage and think, or hope, that running to Jesus will protect us from whatever peril has arrived at the door; that nothing bad will happen to those of us who have put our faith in Him. However, the reality of our situation is that we are all merely passing through a broken world. Whether or not you are a Christ-follower, we are all susceptible to immoral or seemingly unjust things happening to us.

One of the calls of Proverbs 18, especially in light of verse 10, is to run to Jesus—not to escape hardship, but as recognition that unto ourselves we are unable to sufficiently navigate life on our own. It’s only through God that we can find refuge from wickedness, contempt, and quarrels. Jesus is the One who protects us from the Enemy and places us above whatever he may do to try to discourage us or turn us away from God.

As the strength and security of God cover us, we find protection and certainty that allows us to continue to move forward in life no matter what is coming against us.

Today you can rest in the knowledge that when trial, temptation, and hardship come, you are safe, not safe from, safe to…

• love those who have wronged us
• live generously amid scarcity
• display joy in the valley of grief
• maintain self-control when tempers flare
• offer hope to the hopeless
• walk with certainty when you are uncertain about what awaits around the corner
• live as a victor rather than a victim

God always makes good on His promises. He will always be more than enough for all we need, our refuge and strength. He can give us all we need to move through life with a “safe to” attitude and posture.

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Father, thank You for being our strong tower. Thank You that we can always find refuge in Your presence. Lord, we don’t want the things of this world to cause us to shrink back. We want to continue to take the ground You’ve already won for us. No matter what comes our way, we choose You alone to be our refuge. Give us eyes to see and ears to hear every reminder of Your goodness, grace, and mercy that strengthens and allows us to move into our day positioned to love, live generously and offer hope to the world around us. 

“Poverty with integrity is better than wealth gained deceitfully.”

–Faithlife Study Bible 

Proverbs 19 opens with this simple truth. Quick question, do you believe it?

As men, we spend a lot of time thinking about wealth. How much, or little, do we have, how do we amass more, what amount do we need to retire, what will we leave for our children?

These are the questions that keep us awake at night, the ones that put a little more salt in our hair than pepper.

So, if allowed to solve even one of your provision-related difficulties, would you pause to reflect on the morality of what it would take? Would you seek the wisdom of God before taking a step?

Proverbs 19 is not an anti-wealth message; it’s a stern warning against compromising your integrity for the sake of gain. Look at the number of ways Solomon drives this point home: 

Better the poor whose walk is blameless

    than a fool whose lips are perverse.

Desire without knowledge is not good—

    how much more will hasty feet miss the way!

A person’s own folly leads to their ruin,

    yet their heart rages against the Lord.

A false witness will not go unpunished,

    and whoever pours out lies will not go free.

A foolish child is a father’s ruin,

    and a quarrelsome wife is like

    the constant dripping of a leaky roof.

Whoever keeps commandments keeps their life,

    but whoever shows contempt for their ways will die.

What a person desires is unfailing love;

    better to be poor than a liar.

Whoever robs their Father and drives out their mother

    is a child who brings shame and disgrace.

Stop listening to instruction, my son,

    and you will stray from the words of knowledge.

A corrupt witness mocks at justice,

    and the mouth of the wicked gulps down evil.

Solomon is relentless in his warning. Pursuing wealth in any form at the cost of following God’s wisdom leads to dire consequences. Deep down, we know this is true, but some of us have gone so long in the opposite direction that we have become numb to that internal alarm that triggers at the slightest compromise. No matter how far you’ve walked away from the wisdom of God, there is good news today. Reaching back to Proverbs One, we remember that our God is merciful and willing to pour His wisdom back out on you if you turn to Him, repent, and ask for His instruction.

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Almighty God, how many times have I walked away from You because something caught my eye? Who could count but You? Thank You that today You have brought me a wake-up call. I want to repent for my choices to gain something that was not mine to gain and the ways by which I have ignored the wisdom of You, my Heavenly Father. Please return me to Your ways, and increase my sensitivity to anything seeking to pull me off Your path once more.

The Proverbs offer us both practical and profound wisdom. Too often, we settle on the surface, reading these words as poetic couplets and not like the powerful, soul-strengthening, heart-enriching words of God crafted for you and me to become more like Him.

I know that language might make some of us uncomfortable. It’s easier to see the Proverbs like a business manual or a well-written instruction book with helpful anecdotes and good-sounding advice. But they are more profound than that. And that level of depth is calling out to you and me today.

Here’s a question I want you to answer honestly: when’s the last time you went deep? 

This chapter tells us that “the spirit of man is the lamp of the LORD, searching all his innermost parts.”  

The word for Spirit in Hebrew means “breath.” It’s the same word used in Genesis 2 when “then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.”

So the Proverbs writer is saying that when we breathe—something we do without thinking—that the LORD is using our very breath like a lamp to search our innermost parts!

We are not meant to be surface dwellers. We are designed and intended for the deep, rich, and weighty things of God.

We see this earlier in chapter 20, where we read: “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

You have a purpose. It’s not a conditional phrase, as if some men have purpose and others don’t. No, the text says, “the purpose in a man’s heart…” That means there’s purpose in you. In me. But did you see what that purpose is compared to? Deep water.

So how do you go deep? How do you find the diving board of your own heart and get below the surface? You start by stopping. You embrace some silence, you get low and you look up.

None of those four things are natural or pragmatic according to the world. You will have to put up a fight if you want to go deep, but the reward for a man of faith is vast and eternal. As the writer says,

“Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?”

If you make the space, you’ll come to find that there’s more to explore with God.

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God, You have created me on purpose and with purpose. You know me deeply, so please allow my heart to know You in the same manner. Take me deeper and grow my faith.