How to Talk to Your Kids About Their Identity in Christ

As parents, we have the unique privilege and great responsibility of helping shape the hearts of our children. Our ultimate role is not to ensure they are “good people” or enroll them in the greatest college or even make sure they get a good job one day. Our God-ordained assignment is to point them to Jesus. Therefore, our role as parents goes far beyond behavior modification. We are stewards of their hearts, shepherds ordained to tend to their souls. While the reality of that calling on our life can feel overwhelming at times, God has given us everything we need to walk with our children as we humbly seek him. (2 Peter 1:3) 

Every conversation, carpool minute, bath time, nightly tuck-in, and every important or seemingly insignificant moment in between is actually an opportunity to speak truth and life over our children to help shape their theology of God and a right view of themselves. Each moment is a tiny building block helping lay a great foundation for life. 

Among the most important foundations we are laying in our children is a Biblical view of their identity in Christ. Accomplishing this is not a one-time conversation or a task best outsourced to Sunday school. This path is paved by dozens of conversations and deposits of Truth teaching our children what God says is true about them. The world is clever about lying to our kids with sound-good mantras like, “You be you” and “Live your own truth.” But these empty phrases will only lead our kids to destruction and disappointment. Like us, our children need an anchor that will hold in both the highs and the hardships of life. Our kids need a deep understanding of who they are in Christ Jesus. 

Here are some simple reminders about our unique and holy identity in Christ that we can weave into conversations with our kids this week:  

“Remember kids, we are people of the Word, not the World”

It’s important to help our kids rightly discern the difference between what the World is screaming versus what the Word is speaking. The World constantly bombards us with confusing messages that go against God’s heart and design. So, it’s essential to equip our kids with a solid understanding of who they are in God’s eyes, grounded in Scripture. The World is unsteady, but the Word of God is unchanging therefore we anchor our lives in what God says is true. This alone will best guide and define your child’s understanding of their identity. Our bible is the mirror where we learn who we truly are created to be and how to live. 

Celebrate and uphold the Word of God in your family as the primary source of Truth. 

(John 17:15, Psalm 119:89) 

“Remember kids, you are SO loved” 

Kids need to know they are loved by their parents, but ultimately they need to know they are loved by their Father in Heaven. Our human love is messy, but God’s love is perfect and is perfectly displayed in the gospel. It is in the Gospel we learn our value. 

We were so loved that God gave us Jesus to rescue us from death. The gospel we celebrate is not that our sin made us bad people and Jesus makes us better. No, we believe our situation was far worse than that. Our sin left us spiritually dead and separated from the perfect Father. The good news is this: Jesus didn’t just come to make us better versions of ourselves. Jesus came to bring us from death to life. So no matter what the world throws at us, no matter what mistake we make or lie the enemy tries to convince us to believe, we are eternally loved, treasured, and safe in Christ Jesus. That good news defines both who and whose we are forever. 

Celebrate the gift of Jesus in your child’s life and remind them they are covered always and forever by His perfect love. 

(Romans 5:8, John 1:12, John 3:16) 

“Remember kids, you belong to Jesus and reflect His light to the World.” 

Because Christ gave His life for ours, we are now part of the family of God. So, Jesus is everything to us. He is number one in our hearts and central to all we do. Our identity? We are Jesus people and we are appointed to carry His light to the World. This reality shapes how we live. As Jesus people, we rise above feelings, choose joy, and live from a source greater than ourselves. This is the radiance that sets us apart and draws others towards Christ in us. We are Light carriers. 

Celebrate the ways your child reflects the light of Christ to the world. 

(Matthew 5:14-16, Romans 14:8, John 1:9) 

“Remember kids, God has uniquely designed and created you for a purpose.” 

When our kids encounter doubts about their worth or abilities, we must help them recall that God Himself fearfully and wonderfully made them. And God does not make mistakes. Male and female, God perfectly knit us together in our mother’s womb. We are not accidental or incidental. We are uniquely crafted by the hand of God and He has laid out plans and purposes for our lives. There are good works and specific tasks He has created us to fulfill. This reality and sense of purpose greater than ourselves is what inspires us to live boldly and embrace the unique qualities and gifts in our lives for the Glory of God. We can rest knowing that God is in control. 

As the Westminster Catechism so eloquently reminds us, “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.”¹ This is the ultimate goal as we live out His plans and purposes in our lives. 

Celebrate, call out, and speak blessing over your children’s talents, spiritual gifting, and being as they learn to live for the glory of God. 

(Ephesians 2:10, Psalm 139, Romans 11:36, Psalm 86:9, Isaiah 60:21, 1 Corinthians 10:31) 

“Remember kids, God has spoken promises over your life.” 

Our kids need to understand that  God didn’t just save them to leave them. They aren’t living this journey with Jesus alone. As a good Father, He has equipped them with everything they need and has spoken promise over their lives. 

As God’s children, we are now royalty, sons and daughters, of the King above all kings. This is the reality of who we are. (Hello, princess/prince!) You are not your mistakes or failures or even your successes, but by God’s grace and good design, we are His children. As part of the family of God, there are promises we have to look forward to and anchor our lives. There is an inheritance in heaven for us, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the promise of His presence. God also promises to strengthen us, give us rest, answer our prayers, and more. Each of these promises is evidence of our identity in Christ. It doesn’t mean life will always be easy (because it won’t) but we can cling to the fact that we will be okay no matter what because God is with us. Even in the face of difficulty, disease, disappointment, or death, God is with us through it all. Life is sometimes hard, but God is always good. 

Celebrate and remind your child of the good gifts and promises of God in their life. 

(Ephesians 3:14-16, 2 Corinthians 1: 20, Romans 8, 1 Peter 1:4-7 ) 

Continue to be bold, Mom + Dad. Keep speaking Scripture over your kids. Remember, more is caught than taught! Even when they roll their eyes or roll on the floor while you’re speaking Truth over them, keep sowing seeds of Truth. Your kids are watching, listening, and growing in the ways you are leading them. 

¹The Westminster Confession of Faith Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1996